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Goth Chick News: Why Comments About Rob Zombie’s Munsters Are (Likely) Far More Entertaining Than the Movie Will Be…

Goth Chick News: Why Comments About Rob Zombie’s Munsters Are (Likely) Far More Entertaining Than the Movie Will Be…

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I’ll start this by saying I have nothing against Rob Zombie in general. As a musician, he has sold millions of albums, had Grammy nominations and sold-out concert venues for the past 20 years. Though I am not a fan of his movies, a little research explained why he keeps getting funding to make them. In general, a movie is considered a success if it makes a minimum of 2x its overall budget, but in reality, this is more like 3x or above. I actually researched all of Zombie’s theatrical releases and on average, his movies make 3.21x their budgets. So, though they are not considered blockbusters (for example, Top Gun: Maverick is currently at 7x its operating budget and counting), Zombie’s films definitely do well enough to keep getting made. Which brings me to Zombie’s latest film: The Munsters.

According to various interviews, Zombie like many of us, grew up watching reruns of the original Musters TV show, whose 70 episodes ran from 1964-1966. Zombie’s most famous song, “Dragula,” is named after the Munsters’ car built by Grandpa to win a drag race, and the chorus of the song quotes Grandpa directly. I get it, Zombie loves The Munsters. The question was whether or not a self-taught filmmaker whose prior films have been described as “grotesque,” “violent,” and “one giant loogie” was capable of creating a true homage to a cult classic like The Munsters?

Apparently, and unsurprisingly, the answer is no.

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Goth Chick News: Taking a Trip Back to Jerusalem’s Lot

Goth Chick News: Taking a Trip Back to Jerusalem’s Lot

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Though Lapvona, a historical fiction tale by Ottessa Moshfegh, tops thirteen separate summer reading lists, it was not one of the books I took with me on a recent two-weeker through South America. Tropical blue waters and umbrella drinks in no way dissuaded me from delving into my favorite genre, and though I’ll be getting to Lapvona eventually, I opted for some classics on this trip: namely Mary Shelley, Bram Stoker and dare I say it, Stephen King.

If you haven’t heard, part of King’s current monopoly on movies, limited series and episodic juggernauts, is a remake of ‘Salem’s Lot. The original screen adaptation of King’s 1975 vampire story was a made-for-TV, two-episode mini-series released in 1979, directed by Tobe Hooper and starring David Soul and James Mason. Reviews were largely positive, with critics praising the film’s atmosphere, cinematography, Hooper’s direction, and scares. As of today, ‘Salem’s Lot the mini-series still holds an approval rating of 89% on review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes. I tell you this, because in my humble opinion, like many of King’s books, the translation to screen missed the mark back in 1979.

Now, forty plus years later, we’re getting a theater remake, and given what was done to the remakes of Pet Semetary and IT, my personal expectations are pretty low. Which brings me to why I chose to reread ‘Salem’s Lot after revisiting Dracula for the hundredth time.

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Ellsworth’s Cinema of Swords: Laugh, Samurai, Laugh

Ellsworth’s Cinema of Swords: Laugh, Samurai, Laugh

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Warring Clans (Japan, 1963)

In the Fifties and Sixties, samurai adventures occupied roughly the same entertainment niche in Japan as Westerns in the USA. Just as there were comedy Westerns, there were funny chambara films — though based on the movies that actually made it to Europe and the States, you might not know it, as the samurai films that got overseas distribution were mostly as serious as a hanging. However, tragedy tomorrow, comedy tonight: this week we’re taking a look at three of the best humorous chambara films. They tend more toward sly parody than slapstick, so don’t expect Mel Brooks. But count on it: they still feature plenty of swordplay.

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Ellsworth’s Cinema of Swords: More o’ Zorro

Ellsworth’s Cinema of Swords: More o’ Zorro

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Zorro, like the Batman, who borrowed more than a little from the adventures of the masked hero, is a perennial; Hollywood always has another reboot percolating in pre-production somewhere, and occasionally one of these makes it to the screen and the black-clad outlaw rides again. Disney’s Zorro was the definitive version from the late Fifties until the Seventies, when alternative takes on the evergreen character began to appear once more. The legend of Zorro is sturdy, iconic, and can stand a lot of revision and still work quite well. This week let’s look at Guy Williams’ version for Disney, and then a couple of variations on the theme once the character began to emerge from Williams’ long shadow.

(Reminder: Zorro’s first appearance, by the hero’s creator, Johnston McCulley, is included in Your Editor’s Big Book of Swashbuckling Adventure anthology.)

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A Lush Visual History of Science Fiction: Futures Past by Jim Emerson

A Lush Visual History of Science Fiction: Futures Past by Jim Emerson

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The first two issues of Futures Past, a Visual History of Science Fiction, edited and published by Jim Emerson

Way back in the 90s, before most of you young whippersnappers were born, Jim Emerson had a very fine fanzine called Futures Past, covering the birth of modern science fiction. He published four issues, each covering one year of SF history, from 1926-29.

In 2014 Jim resurrected his fondly-remembered zine as a 64-page digital magazine, with gorgeous full-color pages. The first issue covered 1926, the year Hugo Gernsback founded Amazing Stories. Futures Past Vol. 1 illuminated the Birth of Modern Science Fiction, covering all the highlights of science fiction publishing in magazines and books.

A Kickstarter intended to fund full-color print versions of the new version in 2014 wasn’t successful. Undaunted, Jim funded the project himself, and earlier this year I was surprised and very pleased to receive a print copy of Futures Past, Volume 2 in the mail. Covering the year 1927 and the Dawn of the SF Blockbuster, this 144-page publication is a love letter to a forgotten era, when a brand new literary genre was being born in the pages of pulp magazines, books, and on the silver screen.

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A (Black) Gat in the Hand: Heard of Chris London? Didn’t Think So

A (Black) Gat in the Hand: Heard of Chris London? Didn’t Think So

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“You’re the second guy I’ve met within hours who seems to think a gat in the hand means a world by the tail.” – Phillip Marlowe in Raymond Chandler’s The Big Sleep

(Gat — Prohibition Era term for a gun. Shortened version of Gatling Gun)

In the early fifties, a lot of movie stars took on radio shows, in an effort to boost their incomes. Humphrey Bogart, Alan Ladd, Joel McRea – some big names tried their luck at it. Many were short-lived efforts. You can read my scintillating essay about Bold Venture – a good show which starred Bogie and his wife, Lauren Bacall – here at Black Gate.

NBC had Erle Stanley Gardner create a character specifically for a radio show to go up against CBS’ hugely successful Jack Benny Show. CBS had ‘acquired’ much of NBC’s Sunday night programming. ABC had also hit big with the first music quiz show, Stop the Music (think Name That Tune for radio).

Music ran against the long-time successful The Fred Allen Show. Allen’s show took a big ratings hit, and his health was failing at the same time. So, his show ended. NBC then aired the glitzy, big-budget, Hollywood Calling. Movie stars called common folk, who got a watch and ‘something else’ (like Jennifer Jones’s scarf) if they were at home and answered – no cell phones, ya know! The lucky peasant got to talk to a star, and won money, and got entered for a bigger prize, if they could answer a question.

It didn’t beat Jack Benny in the ratings, it cost a lot of money, and NBC canceled it after only half a season. Enter a replacement detective show – The Adventures of Christopher London.

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Goth Chick News: What We Do in the Shadows, Season 4 Plus Baby Colin Robinson

Goth Chick News: What We Do in the Shadows, Season 4 Plus Baby Colin Robinson

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I feel that a sense of humor, however dark, is an essential coping mechanism. Not having one would require we avoid the Web as well as news of any kind, leaving us in social isolation, streaming nothing but MeTV.

Thankfully that is not the case for me, though the term “graveyard humor” seems to get floated a lot in my presence. It is true that I have been known to laugh at inappropriate times or find humor in things that utterly mortify my parents. And if this describes you as well, then I can only assume you have, like me, been counting down the days to the next season of What We Do in the Shadows.

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Ellsworth’s Cinema of Swords: Forgotten Fantasies

Ellsworth’s Cinema of Swords: Forgotten Fantasies

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Hercules in the Haunted World (Italy, 1961)

During the late Fifties and early Sixties, if you were a fan of films of imagination and the fantastic, though there were plenty of monster movies playing at the drive-in, except for the films of Ray Harryhausen there were very few classical fantasies coming out of Hollywood — and Harryhausen’s movies were mostly British productions. In fact, heroic fantasy films were thin on the ground, being regarded in America as fodder for children. Fortunately, that wasn’t always the case in Europe, where monsters still found themselves opposed by sword-swinging heroes as often as by modern soldiers with bazookas. And occasionally, those films would make it across the Atlantic, though they were usually relegated to double bills with fare such as Reptilicus and The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms.

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Ellsworth’s Cinema of Swords: Musashi and Kojiro

Ellsworth’s Cinema of Swords: Musashi and Kojiro

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I recently finished reading Eiji Yoshikawa’s long, 1,500-page novel, Musashi, originally serialized in Japanese newspaper Asahi Shimbun between 1935 and 1939. It tells a fictionalized story of the early life of Musashi Miyamoto, the celebrated author of The Book of Five Rings who is considered by many the finest exemplar of Bushido, the warrior code of the samurai.

It was a good read, which was no surprise — the book has sold far more than 100 million copies, and its depiction of Musashi has inspired a number of screen incarnations, none more famous than Hiroshi Inagaki’s Samurai trilogy (1954-1956), starring Toshiro Mifune as Musashi. After finishing the novel I decided to give the films a rewatch and they stood up well, so I thought I’d present them here. Of course, we covered Samurai I in a Cinema of Swords article in October 2020, but here are Samurai II and III and a sort of spin-off from the following year, Sasaki Kojiro.

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See The Northman If You Can

See The Northman If You Can

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See The Northman if you can.

I went by myself. Mattie did not think it was what she needed just now. There are, I think, three other people in the theater. Price may have been an issue. I got in at a senior discount and it cost $12.09. I can prove I am a senior by remembering when kiddie matinees were 25 cents and regular movies were about a dollar.

In any case, it is superb for what it is. A grown-up Robert E. Howard movie, filled with hatred and vengeance and swordplay, but with real emotions and believable characters, as opposed to when we get in the typical cheapo sword & sorcery flick. (In which category I include the Schwarzenegger Conan movies.) It is of course heavily derived from Icelandic saga material, and also from the earlier, Danish version of the Hamlet story, which comes from Saxo Grammaticus. Prince Amleth, aged about ten, sees his father murdered by his uncle, then escapes, is thought dead, grows up to be a berserker, and is honor-bound to seek revenge. He makes dismaying discoveries about his mom.

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