Good afterevenmorn!
So, my various social media algorithms were working overtime the past couple of months, bombarding me with clips and training videos for the Chinese movie Legends of the Condor Heroes: The Gallants. And, of course, my interest was more than a little piqued. When I heard that the movie was getting an international release, I got more than a little excited.
A 20 film marathon of werewolf movies I’ve never seen before.
As usual, the films must be free to stream.
I’ve got a bad feeling about this.
Man or beast? It looks more like a hairy extra from The Hobbit.
Howling’ good time? Nope. We are off to a rip-roaring start with this dull effort shot entirely in Arkansas, if that floats your boat.
My next watch-a-thon is a favorite genre: crocs and gators. Unfortunately, this means the pickings are a bit slim, as I’ve already seen most of them, but I’ve managed to dig up 15 so far (supplemented with a Gila Monster and a couple of Komodos), and I’m sure the intended list of 20 will materialize as streaming services start suggesting titles.
Croc or gator? Crocodile!
Real or faker? Some pretty great CG.
Any good? I do like me an Aussie croc flick, and this is one of them. The premise is simple: stick some folks in a cave, flood it, trap them, let loose a big croc. The spaces are tight, the tension is taut, and the croc has the good sense to eat the cast in order of character development.*
Last week’s article on Angel Heart not only resulted in a lot of fun and insightful comments from all of you, but it got me thinking about another film that I appreciate in a similar way. It will be twenty-six years old next month and having given it a re-watch last weekend, I wondered what your thoughts would be on this one.
The Ninth Gate, directed by Roman Polanski and starring Johnny Depp, was released in March 1999. Polanski was co-writer on the screenplay which was loosely (and I do mean loosely) adapted from the book, The Club Dumas (1993) by Arturo Pérez-Reverte.
This is how my brain works sometimes.
This week Deadline reported that Robert De Niro will be starring in an upcoming crime drama for Netflix called The Whisper Man based on a novel by the same name. That made me think that when I last saw De Niro, the dude looked pretty old, and that starring in a multi-installment series for Netflix would be pretty taxing. That led me to IMDB to find out how old he really is (De Niro is 81), which resulted in going down the rabbit hole of his incredible career, which led me to Angel Heart (1987).
I had all but forgotten about this film, but the minute I read the name all this controversial stuff about it started resurfacing in my mind. Honestly, I couldn’t recall if Angel Heart was really all that controversial, or if I remembered it wrong and naturally this resulted in a lost afternoon reading everything about it I could get my hands on.
So, here we are and yes, the movie was steeped in controversy.
My next watch-a-thon is a favourite genre: crocs and gators. Unfortunately, this means the pickings are a bit slim, as I’ve already seen most of them, but I’ve managed to dig up 15 so far (supplemented with a Gila Monster and a couple of Komodos), and I’m sure the intended list of 20 will materialize as streaming services start suggesting titles.
Croc or gator? Crocodile. Again.
Real or faker? A hilarious puppet. The same one.
Any good? A direct follow on from the first story, this time the offspring of the first puppet is doing the chewing. Nefarious types are still dumping toxic waste, thrill seekers are still inexplicably wakeboarding in the world’s muddiest river, and ladies are still getting their kit off for a leaden leading man. Actually, the sexy pillow talk is a highlight. “Don’t you know that fear and near death situations stimulate and heighten a man’s reproductive organs?” Phwoar, steady on, love, you had me at ‘Don’t’.
This is a true story.
Like most young people, the first couple of cars I drove were crap. However, I eventually got to the point in my career when I was able to purchase my first car for love. It was not only a gorgeous little black sports model with a stick shift, a rocking stereo system, and all the bells and whistles, but I also tagged it with my dream “vanity” license plate – NOS4AH2
Aside from indicating I had (and have) the taste in cars of a sixteen-year-old boy, and that my idea of what’s “cool” might be far closer to “geeky” than I care to think about, it shows I have had a long love of the original movie vampire.
When I first told you about Robert Egger’s film Nosferatu in July 2024, the first trailer had just dropped. Not much was known about it other than in the context of its historical 1922 predecessor which was a literal rip off of Dracula, and that Eggar’s movie was a remake.
It’s been a whole month since I randomly shared my opinions on things I think. How in the world have you made it through the start of this new year, without that????
So, I think that:
1) THE LORD OF A SHATTERED LAND IS TERRIFIC
If you follow me on Facebook – or even read my column here every Monday – you know I’ve been talking about my Black Gate buddy Howard Andrew Jones, who passed away earlier this month. Click on over to see what I had to say last week about a really great guy.
I had not yet read Howard’s most recent trilogy, the Chronicles of Hanuvar. Howard’s Arabian fantasy mystery short stories featuring Dabir and Asim have been my favorites of his work (even more so than the two novels featuring the duo).
But man – this first book in the trilogy is his best work. Incorporating several short stories previously published, it’s very episodic in nature, which I liked. They’re linked together, making up Hanuvar’s ongoing quest, and the format keeps things moving. There’s no padding here.
While I have sword of sorcery from folks like Robert E. Howard and Fritz Lieber on my shelves, I’m more an epic fantasy fan, ala J.R.R. Tolkien, Terry Brooks, David Eddings, and Robert Jordan. I feel like Howard’s trilogy is epic sword and sorcery – a hybrid of the two which would also include Glen Cook’s The Black Company. It contains the individual adventuring aspect of sword and sorcery (stakes are more focused on the hero, not nations or empires), with the epic story scope of high fantasy. Howard’s trilogy is Epic Sword and Sorcery.
I finished Lord of a Shattered Land, put it on the shelf, and immediately sat down and began The City of Marble and Blood. And boy, does something big happen by page twenty-five!! The latter two books are in traditional novel form. So be it – I’m in.
My next watch-a-thon is a favorite genre: crocs and gators. Unfortunately, this means the pickings are a bit slim, as I’ve already seen most of them, but I’ve managed to dig up 15 so far (supplemented with a Gila Monster and a couple of Komodos), and I’m sure the intended list of 20 will materialize as streaming services start suggesting titles.
Croc or gator? A 25ft saltwater crocodile.
Real or faker? A lovely, animatronic behemoth.
Any good? A thoroughly decent offering from the Ozploitation market, Dark Age is far from a mindless bloodbath sprinkled with spring breakers, and instead does what most Australian horror does: provide thrills alongside a biting social commentary. The croc in question is Numunwari, considered a God by the local Aboriginal population, but the extremely unpleasant white folks just see it as a trophy for their walls. Doubly so after it kills several people (including a rather unsettling attack on a young child).
Why oh why can’t Hollywood produce a decent werewolf movie?
I’ve had my heart broken twice in the past few months, first by The Beast Within (2024) and most recently by Wolf Man (2025).
I first told you about The Beast Within starring Kit Harington, back in August. In summary, it was lousy. Though the trailer implied a suspenseful, cohesive tale, Beast was a rambling affair that didn’t seem to know what it wanted to be. As for an actual werewolf transformation, it was implied but never really materialized. Instead, director Alexander J. Farrell tried to distract us from this fact with a knee-jerking series of events that barely held together as a story. Even putting Harington half-naked in a dog collar wasn’t enough to make me forgive this mess.
So, if you tell me I should have known better when, with renewed hope, I ran off to the theater last weekend to see Wolf Man, I wouldn’t argue.