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Ellsworth’s Cinema of Swords: Moar Mondo Mifune

Ellsworth’s Cinema of Swords: Moar Mondo Mifune

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Red Sun (France/Italy/Spain, 1971)

Though Toshiro Mifune in the late ‘50s and early ‘60s had proven himself a consummate actor capable of inhabiting a wide range of roles, by the late ‘60s he was pretty much typecast as a gruffly stoic warrior oozing with gravitas. That sounds limiting, and though Mifune plays that part in each of the films covered this week, the three movies are so varied they prove Mifune’s breadth as a performer even when seemingly typecast. Plus, the latter two of these movies are just a rollicking good time, and if you haven’t heard of them, I’m delighted to bring them to your attention.

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Goth Chick News: Nicolas Cage as Dracula? Yes, Please

Goth Chick News: Nicolas Cage as Dracula? Yes, Please

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I recently enjoyed one of my periodic, cathartic rants about the state of vampires on film in the past couple of decades. Having had it with the very liberal license the entertainment industry has taken with my favorite classic monster, I was happy to share that Hollywood was finally going to give us a seriously violent throw-back version in the form of The Last Voyage of the Demeter. However, though I took exception to vampires being depicted as angsty, flannel-wearing mopes who despised their own blood-sucking nature, I never mentioned believing that vampires should not have a sense of humor.

I mean, if you had to hang around watching humans for roughly 590 years, you’d have to be able to laugh at stuff, right?

If you think about it, Dracula must appreciate the irony of his situation. Certainly director Chris McKay (The Tomorrow War, The LEGO Batman Movie) screenwriter Ryan Ridley (Ghosted, Rick & Morty), and comic book writer Robert Kirkman (The Walking Dead, Invincible) gave it a lot of thought, which is why you should mark your calendars for April 14th.

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Ellsworth’s Cinema of Swords: Avenging Women

Ellsworth’s Cinema of Swords: Avenging Women

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Lady in the Iron Mask (USA, 1952)

Much as Your Cheerful Editor loves it when it’s the women in a movie who are plying the swords, he must admit that the swashbuckling films of the 20th Century betrayed women wielding their weapons as often as they glorified them. Filmmakers kept putting swords in ladies’ hands because it’s such an attractive image, but then usually gave those sword-swingin’ women short shrift. Most of the time this was just reflexive sexism of the “Of course women don’t fight as well as men” variety, but toward the end of the century, during the backlash against the rise of feminism, the attitude was often open scorn. There are a lot of things I miss about moviemaking from Hollywood’s golden era, but endemic misogyny isn’t one o them.

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5 More Things I Think I Think: March, 2023

5 More Things I Think I Think: March, 2023

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I enjoyed last week’s 10 Things I Think I Think. And it got some comments, which is kinda the goal of blogging. So, following up with 5 More Things I Think I Think.

1) THREE PINES is a Prime Original, based on a books by Canadian author Louise Penny. The series is at 18 novels and still going! Alfred Molina is Inspector Armand Gamache, head of the Quebec Surete homicide department. It’s a French-Canadian murder mystery with a little bit of supernatural. Kinda like a splash of Weird Tales mixed in. The Three Pines area has the crime rate of a rural Agatha Christie village. Here’s the trailer.

Molina’s career has produced over 200 credits spanning thirty-five years. He’s been in a lot of stuff. He’s probably most recently recognizable as Doc Ock in Toby Maguire’s Spider Man movies. He was Hercule Poirot in a 2001 (modern-day) version of Murder on the Orient Express for TV. It’s still poorly considered by Poirot fans. I will add that in 2021, he was Poirot in LA Theater Works’ radio play of The Murder on the Links, and he was very good. I bought it with an Audible credit and listen to it regularly. Recommended.

He is terrific in Three Pines. I think he makes the show. The supporting cast (including Donald Sutherland’s son, Rossif) is solid but the for me, Molina is the centerpiece. He’s very human. I get a strong Maigret vibe, and I would like to see him play Georges Simenon’s French inspector.

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Long, Long Time: The Last of Us, Episode Three

Long, Long Time: The Last of Us, Episode Three

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And we’re back with the next episode of The Last of Us. As I outline this piece, the episode has aired a few days ago (vastly different from when this article will be published, I know), and the internet is absolutely buzzing. Most of the chatter I hear is about how devastatingly wonderful this episode is, which makes for a nice change. I’ve curated my social media well.

Let’s get into it, shall we?

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10 Things I Think I Think: March, 2023

10 Things I Think I Think: March, 2023

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1) THE MANDALORIAN remains the best Star Wars property going. My son loves The Bad Batch, and it seems cool. But as I wrote here, the mix of innovation and fidelity; and simply all-around awesomeness, I’ll take this over just about any Star Wars of the past few decades.

I liked Boba Fett – and it didn’t hurt that it was like a subs-series for The Mandalorian. I quit Battlestar Galactica, as it put me to sleep. But I’m a big Katee Sackhoff fan from her work on Longmire. And she is SPECTACULAR as Bo Katan. Absolutely superb. I look forward to this show every week. I think The Mandalorian is outstanding.

2) I did not look forward to ANDOR. Elementary was a police procedural with a Sherlock Holmes overlay. I liked it. Solo was a caper/heist flick (for the first half) with a Star Wars overlay. I liked it. I’m a WW II-resistance movie fan. Andor was a war resistance series, with a Star Wars overlay. And for the most part, it was DULL!

It got better when Andy Serkis became a major character, but this should have been right up my alley. But it was soooo slow, I watched most episode in two or three sittings. Lots of FB friends lavished ‘FINALLY: Star Wars for grown-ups” praise on it. To me, it was the same tone as The Literature people being snobby about Robert E. Howard and Sherlock Holmes: “Oh, you’re reading THAT ‘stuff?’ Go get some George Bernard Shaw, or Flaubert.” Whatever. I think Andor was pretty boring.

3) LETHAL WEAPON (TV SERIES) replaced the Martin Riggs character after season two. And it was canceled after less than a full season three. Apparently Clayne Crawford and the show/studio people did not get along. Whatever. They both probably had some legitimate beefs. But the way they wrapped up his character’s story line at the very end of his final episode, PISSED ME OFF! I haven’t been this mad at a show since the rape scene in Downtown Abbey. It was totally unnecessary, the way they finished up with the Riggs character. They were jack asses.

I continued on with season three. And the show works okay with Sean William Scott (though it’s not as good). But I’m still mad at what they did with Riggs. I think I’m glad the show died not long after.

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Goth Chick News: The Count Returns to His Fangy, Blood-Sucking Origins

Goth Chick News: The Count Returns to His Fangy, Blood-Sucking Origins

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Courtesy Wallpaperflair.com

If you’ve read GCN for any length of time, you’ve probably come to understand that as it pertains to vampires, I am a solid purist. I mean, I’m not at all against imagining them in modern society, as in Blade or Blood Red Sky, and I positively love alternative takes such as Let the Right One In and The Lost Boys. It’s also hard not to be a fan of What We Do in the Shadows because it’s just so darn wrong.

But what is absolutely a no-go for me are vampires who literally ignore all the rules of the genre such as sparkling, or going to high school (if only on cloudy days), etc, etc. If that sounds like the only vampires I don’t like live in Washington state, then you may well be right.

But the vampire stories I adore the most are those which cater to all of Bram Stoker’s original tropes, number one of which is that vampires are scary, blood-sucking monsters. And that’s why what I’m about to share is decidedly good news.

It appears that The Last Voyage of the Demeter, due out later this summer, could be the movie that brings my beloved legendary vampire back to his dark and sinister roots.

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Ellsworth’s Cinema of Swords: The Barbarian Boom, Part 7

Ellsworth’s Cinema of Swords: The Barbarian Boom, Part 7

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Oliver Reed in Gor (USA/South Africa, 1987)

We’ve come to the end of the ‘80s and the last of our Barbarian Boom articles, as fantasy films in the ‘90s diversified to offer a broader portfolio after the waning of Conan fever. And as you’ll see from the movies covered this week, by 1987 the barbarian flick genre had definitely passed into a period of decadence, with filmmakers straining to find ways to keep pumping life into it. Not that there aren’t some weird delights to be had in these desperate final outings, as you’ll see.

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Infected: The Last of Us, Episode Two

Infected: The Last of Us, Episode Two

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Good afternoon! Well, we’re currently well behind the actual airing of the show, so if you aren’t prepared for spoilers for episode two of this show, you should probably stop reading now and go watch the episode. It’s a good ‘un.

I should also note that other than this intro, much of this article was written shortly after the second episode aired, largely because I don’t want future episodes to influence what I write about each episode. So even though I am actually caught up, it will read like I’m not. Alright! C’est parti!

[Read about episode one here.]

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