Black Gate

I was super excited to see the new Blade Runner 2049 trailer released this week, partially because I was curious to see how much if any actual running Harrison Ford would actually be doing.

Okay, don’t look at me like you weren’t wondering exactly the same thing.

Turns out, there was more than one item to discuss in this latest look into our dark futures.

First, Mr. Ford does do a bit of a hustle at the 1:41 mark, which incidentally was not bad for a 75-year-old man. Next, Jared Leto’s Wallace character is sufficiently creepy with those cataract contact lenses. And apparently you make the future even more futuristic with 3-story-tall, sexed up holograms – who knew?

But what is really giving the fan girls and boys fits is the possible Easter egg at the 15-second mark.

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Consider for a moment your adult self, with all your current knowledge, experience and (theoretic) ability to know better, magically transported back in time to relive the trials and tribulations of your incredibly awkward and potentially misspent youth.

Would you do it?

Personally that’s a great big “no” with several colorful swear words preceding it. But this is the exact personal hell soon to be faced by Sigourney Weaver.

Sort of.

Ridley Scott isn’t ruling out a young Ellen Ripley entering the storyline in one of his planned Alien: Covenant sequels, via the magic of CGI de-aging.

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I discovered Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House, considered one of the best ghost stories of the 20th century, in fourth grade. Not because it was on the approved reading list for nine-year-olds – on the contrary, I didn’t run into it academically until high school – but because I came across it during a summer reading program at my public library. Thankfully, librarians then were far less politically correct than they apparently are today, and they didn’t discourage browsing of selections that were not strictly “age appropriate.”

Since I fell in love with all things Shirley, I discovered Hill House had two theatrical adaptations, both call The Haunting; one in 1963 by Robert Wise, and one in 1999 (my guilty pleasure) directed by Jan de Bont and starring Liam Neeson, Owen Wilson, Cathrine Zeta-Jones, and The Conjuring‘s Lili Taylor. Both telling the tale of a group of people spending a summer in a mansion rich in haunted history and tales of the paranormal, who soon realize the stories are not just old wives tales as they begin to experience the supernatural and malevolent phenomena for themselves.

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Clowns are creepy.

You know it. I know it. And Stephen King really knows it because he’s about to make bank on it… again.

After months of anticipation, the first trailer for director Andy Muschetti’s upcoming theatrical re-adaptation of King’s classic novel IT hit the net last week; and to say the response was positive would be a serious understatement. In fact, even though I’ve now watched it about a dozen times, I must say I was freaked out all over again when I attached it to this article.

In case you haven’t had the pleasure yet, check it out below…

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Though in my early Goth Girl days I was admittedly too enthralled with my beloved (and sometimes cheesy) horror movies to ever consider hacking on them, my teenaged years did find me gaining an appreciation for snarky commentary during movies.

So it will be no surprise to anyone that discovering Mystery Science Theater 3000 meant Joel, Servo, Crow and Gypsy became my early mentors, playing a big part in creating the sarcastic, mocking and malicious critic who sits before you and would ultimately find a safe haven in the page of Black Gate.

In a word – I was hooked.

Years later I now own every episode of every season, in multiple formats. And I waited in a two-and-a-half-hour line to spend a total of 30 seconds saying “hi” to Joel Hodgson at a con – right behind a guy hauling around a life-sized “Crow” which I coveted to the point of violence.

So clearly, I’m not alone.

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