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Category: Conan

Art of the Genre: Magic Kingdom for Sale — Sold

Art of the Genre: Magic Kingdom for Sale — Sold

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Uh... can I see inside that fortress please?
Uh... can I see inside that fortress please?

First off, no, this has nothing to do with Terry Brooks…

So I recently saw Conan 3D 2011… and yeah I know what you’re thinking, but I’m not going to go into that because it’s been beaten to death elsewhere, and certainly here on Black Gate. Still, I had to wonder after seeing it, what did the world of Hyboria get for its 2011 dollar?

Considering the movie reviews and box office receipts, whatever the cost for art direction it was far too much. As I watched, I contemplated the words of John Fultz and his thoughts concerning the imagery of the movie when he said… wait, I’m going to go look this up so John can’t complain I misquoted him… Ok, here we go…

The Hyborian Age has never looked so wondrous, splendid, and believable on screen. From the virgin wilderness and Cimmerian villages to the decadent, sprawling cities, the vast monasteries, and the ancient citadels with skull-shaped caves, the movie simply looks fantastic. The costuming too is spot-on and suitably grimy, evocative, and well-designed. Same goes for the props: swords, spears, armor, ships, etc.

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Swords and Sorcery at its Pinnacle: A Look Back at The Fantastic Swordsmen

Swords and Sorcery at its Pinnacle: A Look Back at The Fantastic Swordsmen

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the-fantastic-swordsmen

For those who put entertainment first, heroic fantasy offers it in its purest form.
          — L. Sprague de Camp, The Fantastic Swordsmen

Although many of its foundational writers had already sailed into the west, swords and sorcery reached a Weird peak in the 1960s. In 1961 Fritz Leiber coined the term “swords and sorcery” in the journal Ancalagon. The Swordsmen and Sorcerer’s Guild of America (can I get a membership, please?) began the first of its secretive meetings. And the Lancer published, L. Sprague De Camp and Lin Carter-edited Conan series with its splendid Frank Frazetta covers was everywhere. These were heady times for the genre. Although the mass-produced works of the era can still be readily found and enjoyed today, I can only imagine when books like The Swords of Lankhmar could be found in drugstore wire spinner racks and the like.

In that strange time of tie-dye and Tolkien, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the pages of paperback books, Pyramid Books published four swords and sorcery anthologies. Edited by fantasy/science fiction author L. Sprague de Camp, the series began with Swords and Sorcery (1963) and concluded with 1970’s Warlocks and Warriors.

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IT’S ONLY PULP: A Fair and Balanced Review of CONAN THE BARBARIAN (2011)

IT’S ONLY PULP: A Fair and Balanced Review of CONAN THE BARBARIAN (2011)

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conan2Friends, Bloggers, Conan Fans, lend me your ears! I come not to defend the new CONAN movie, but to present an informal overview that examines what works and what doesn’t work. To begin, I’ve seen a lot better movies … and I’ve seen a LOT worse movies.

First, let’s consider the source: Robert E. Howard is a largely respected fantasy author by today’s standards. However, that was not the case in the 20s and 30s when he was publishing his lurid pulp adventure stories in WEIRD TALES and similar pulp magazines of the time. In Howard’s day, pulp fiction was considered “trash,” and it was treated accordingly. Sex and violence were common ingredients in a good pulp tale, and Howard’s work is definitely full of both. However, what was considered obscene in the Pulp Era seems rather tame compared to the graphic sex and violence we see in today’s media. You can look at this in two ways: Either we as a society have gotten less uptight about certain subjects, or we have become a more depraved society. It’s all a matter of perspective. And as many philosphers will tell you, perspective is reality.

The new CONAN THE BARBARIAN film isn’t exactly a remake, but it does borrow its revenge motif from the original (and superior) John Milius CONAN film from 1982. That was NOT a Howard plot point. The Conan of Howard’s tales is not pursuing vengeance for his slain father, his slain mother, or his slain village. However, he would certainly have not been above bringing bloody and thunderous vengeance to anybody who wronged him. It simply was not his driving ambition, as it is in the movies.

Before I talk about the movie’s failings, let me first say what works about it: The visuals. Marcus Nispel’s CONAN THE BARBARIAN is a visual triumph. The Hyborian Age has never looked so wondrous, splendid, and believable on screen. From the virgin wilderness and Cimmerian villages to the decadent, sprawling cities, the vast monastaries, and the ancient citadels with skull-shaped caves, the movie simply looks fantastic. The costuming too is spot-on and suitably grimy, evocative, and well-designed. Same goes for the props: swords, spears, armor, ships, etc.

It all LOOKS fantastic. But looks aren’t everything…

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Some Thoughts on the Eve of Conan the Barbarian

Some Thoughts on the Eve of Conan the Barbarian

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conan-2011-movie-posterI’ve refrained from talking about Conan the Barbarian (2011) until now, despite my love for Robert E. Howard’s works. But now that we’re poised on the eve of its U.S. release, I thought I’d weigh in with my personal hopes—and fears—regarding the film.

The bottom line for me is this: I’m going to do what the studio execs want, which is opening my wallet and seeing the movie. And I might even consider it money well spent. That said, the updates I’ve followed up to this point (your ultimate source is Al Harron’s Conan the Movie Blog) don’t leave me with great expectations.

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Sword Noir: A Role-playing Game of Hardboiled Sword & Sorcery

Sword Noir: A Role-playing Game of Hardboiled Sword & Sorcery

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conan-cityImagine Conan in Shadizar, meeting with a beautiful woman calling herself Fortuna who pays him to find Thuris, the man who kidnapped her younger sister. Conan accepts the woman’s coin but finds himself in the middle of double and triple crosses as Fortuna — known as Brigid the Bold in the underworld — seeks for the Falcon of Maltus along with her betrayed confederates, Jubliex Cairo, Wilmer the Younger, and Gutmar.

Think of Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser hired by the powerful merchant Sternwood to scare ne’er-do-well Geiger away from the merchant’s daughter Carmen, only to be caught up in blackmail, murder, kidnapping, and family secrets.

Yes, those were the plots of The Maltese Falcon and The Big Sleep using three of the iconic characters of sword & sorcery. That’s what I’d call Sword Noir, and that’s what I called the role-playing game I just published, subtitled A Role-playing Game of Hardboiled Sword & Sorcery.

Sword Noir is a game now, but it started as something a little more than a conceit and little less than a genre. Basically, I attempted to give some kind of short-hand to the stories I wrote.

sword-noirAs usual, the kind of stories I was reading and writing bled into the kind of games I was playing, and this took me down a path I did not expect. I ended cobbling together a system that was purpose built to play “sword noir.” In order to do that, I had to define the term.

This is what I came up with: Characters’ morals are shifting at best and absent at worst. The atmosphere is dark and hope is frail or completely absent. Violence is deadly and fast.

The characters are good at what they do, but they are specialists. Trust is the most valued of commodities – life is the cheapest.

Grim leaders weave labyrinthine plots which entangle innocents. Magic exists and can be powerful, but it takes extreme dedication to learn, extorts a horrible price, and is slow to conjure.

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Conan Soundtrack: I Got a Fever, and the Prescription is MORE ANVIL!

Conan Soundtrack: I Got a Fever, and the Prescription is MORE ANVIL!

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vikingsBack in the dim mists of 1997, the City of Prague Philharmonic Orchestra and Chorus recorded a music festival devoted to Warriors of the Silver Screen. All sword and sandal-type movie music. I was thrilled with it, mostly because the conductor clearly appreciated Nascimbene’s score for 1958’s The Vikings. He liked it so much, he ended the album with a suite from the score, featuring full orchestra and chorus. Who can forget those hearty longship voices singing, during the Viking funeral at the end:

Kirk Douglas! Kirk Douglas!
You should have worn your eyegear while training falcons!

I think. Wow, Taras Bulba too! Talk about a blast from the swashbuckler past. That one’s so old, Yul Brynner had hair. Great album, and well worth hunting up.

One of the most tantalizing pieces in the set was taken from Poledouris’s Conan The Barbarian (the “Conan Theme,” to be precise). It featured every metal percussion instrument you could think of, including a hammer and anvil, pounding in time to the Conan music. If a swordfight could be rendered on sheet music, Paul Bateman scored it. After that, I always wished I could get the whole soundtrack done with such innovative orchestration.

In 2010, my musical wet dream finally showed up. Topless. On a rocket sled.

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Jeff Mejia reviews Conan: Ruins of Hyboria

Jeff Mejia reviews Conan: Ruins of Hyboria

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Conan is one of the most influential characters in all of fantasy. His influences has always been felt in the background, but he’s getting a lot more press lately due to an upcoming film adaptation (complete with new trailer). This supplement, reviewed by Jeff Mejia, focuses  not on the man so much as the setting … or rather, a type of setting which is woven into many of the greatest Sword and Sorcery tales (and games).conan-ruins-of-hyboria-vincent-darl15-med

Conan: Ruins of Hyboria

Vincent N. Darlage
Mongoose publishing (156 pages, $29.95, June 2006)
Reviewed by Jeff Mejia

Like many of you, I’m one of those who actually read The Lord of the Rings decades before the movie came out. I would get the books out every couple of years and reread them, and as I did so I would wonder what this locale would look like or how to create that character using my favorite gaming system. When Peter Jackson’s epic movie trilogy came out I was an instant fan; sure they left out a couple of favorite characters and missed a few beats here and there, but for all of that I finally had a glimpse of Middle Earth beyond the Brothers Hildebrandt calendars. For me Jackson’s The Lord of The Rings was a feast for the eyes. And such is the case with Ruins of Hyboria.

From Conan to Thundarr, Ruins have been a staple of Sword and Sorcery fiction. In Ruins of Hyboria by Vincent Darlage, we are not only provided with a system to help create and flesh out ruins of our own creation, we are also treated to full descriptions of some of the more famous ruins in the Conan saga.

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Looking for the real Robert E. Howard in One Who Walked Alone

Looking for the real Robert E. Howard in One Who Walked Alone

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one-who-walked-aloneIt couldn’t have been easy for Novalyne Price Ellis to write One Who Walked Alone: Robert E. Howard the Final Years (Donald M. Grant Publisher, Inc., 1986). Price Ellis’ memoir of her relationship with Howard (roughly 1934-36) is illuminating in its raw honesty. It’s also painful, at turns disappointing and downright frustrating. We might find escape in Howard’s sword and sorcery tales but there is none to be found here.

But above all, One Who Walked Alone is brave. Price Ellis never sacrifices accuracy to save face. Howard was a successful writer and a free spirit, and told wild, vivid stories, traits that Price Ellis found irresistible. But she was also painfully embarrassed with the Texan, unable to accept his occasionally odd public behavior. She was disappointed that he didn’t conform to her own conception of manliness and began to date other men, including one of his best friends, Truett Vinson, which cut Howard to the quick. While her reactions were understandable, at times I found her to be rather shallow and unlikeable. And yet rather than off-putting I find that uncompromising truthfulness highly admirable.

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Late with my playoff picks

Late with my playoff picks

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Okay, I’m a little late with my brackets, but here they are anyway.

swordandsorcerybrackets2

Tanya Roberts as Kiri
Tanya Roberts as Kiri

Obviously, there are some odd choices and upsets here. First of all, how did Kiri from Beastmaster make it into the women’s tourney?

Pure 80s hotness. One does have to put bums in seats.

(Click on the tumbnail pics for larger images.)

You may ask what James T. Kirk and the Gorn Captain doing in a Sword and Sorcery tournament? Well, Kirk wanted in, so he rewrote the computer program allocating arena space and logistics. He doesn’t like to lose.

Still, Titus Pullo should knock him unconscious in the second round, but I expect Kirk will lose his shirt.

Titus Pullo (HBO's Rome)
Titus Pullo (HBO's Rome)

You might accuse me of basing my picks on pure emotion.

If it were that, I’d have Etain and Titus Pullo going all the way, both because 2010’s Centurion deserved better notice than it received, and I’d love to see howling Pictish fury set against the trained brutality of everyone’s favorite drunken, whoremongering Roman legionary.

Those who cry “80s nostalgia” might have a better case, but Dragonslayer‘s Galen does fall to Titus Pullo in the first round…

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First Teaser Trailer for Conan the Barbarian

First Teaser Trailer for Conan the Barbarian

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conan-3dThe first trailer for the new 3D remake of Conan the Barbarian has been unleashed this week by Lionsgate.

The trailer is quite brief (one minute), and doesn’t show much beyond a lot of smoke, a few poorly nutritioned villains, a beautiful woman, and some goofy dialog on how to achieve contentment through slaying.  That part reminded me of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but with more swords and a better soundtrack.

The brief film description reads:

The tale of Conan the Cimmerian and his adventures across the continent of Hyboria on a quest to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village.

I don’t remember anything about his father in the original version. But as Howard Andrew Jones is constantly telling me, I probably need to read more Robert E. Howard.

The finished film will be released on August 11, 2011.  It is directed by Marcus Nispel and stars Jason Momoa (Stargate: Atlantis) as Conan.

The film also stars Ron Perlman, Stephen Lang, and Rose McGowan, who’s preparing her own take on a Robert E. Howard character in the upcoming Red Sonja, also scheduled for release this year.