Black Gate

Netflix’s Stranger Things is one long nostalgia trip for kids from the ’80s, so it only makes sense that at some point, homage would be paid to the most prominent of 80’s attributes aside from should pads – rampant consumerism.

Funko, the company best known for their Pop! Vinyl toy line agrees. It’s preparing Stranger Things action figures that are bound to rekindle memories of playing with GI Joe or Masters of the Universe toys as a kid and cause collectors who love the show to be willing to traverse the Upside Down to get their hands on them.

The news comes directly from Funko’s website, where they explain that they’re selling two separate three-packs of 3 3/4 tall action figures. One pack contains figures based on the characters of the group’s de facto leader Mike Wheeler (played by the awesomely-named Finn Wolfhard), the logic-driven Lucas Sinclair (played by Caleb McLaughlin), and the mysterious Eleven (played by Millie Bobby Brown). The other pack includes figures based on the unfortunate Will Byers (Noah Schnapp), the loyal Dustin Henderson (Gaten Matarazzo), and the evil Demogorgon.

The figures are all fully articulated, and most come with some sort of prop that reflects the character: Eleven has her Eggo waffles (obviously), Mike has a walkie-talkie, and Lucas gets two – a slingshot and a pair of binoculars. The second pack is far more sparse; it looks like the only prop that comes with that is a package of chocolate pudding, which I’m guessing isn’t intended for the Demogorgon.

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Back in October I reported on the travesty that Universal Studios was perpetuating on its own iconic catalog of classic movie monster films. Though I was sincerely hoping the early rumors were not true, it has recently been confirmed that Universal is indeed committing this violent crime which they are entitling their “Dark Universe,” the umbrella under which it is planning at least five films including The Invisible Man (with Johnny Depp), Dr. Jekyll (Russell Crowe), Frankenstein’s Monster (Javier Bardem) and Bride of Frankenstein (not yet cast but Angelina Jolie is rumored).

So what’s the problem you ask?

These films have already been remade multiple times, you say.

True enough.

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2017 seems to be the year that clowns replace zombies in the dark subconscious of the general collective, thanks entirely to the nightmare-inducing remake of It, due out September 8.

But before Bill Skarsgård donned the red nose, it was Tim Curry looking up at us from the sewers and giving us the screaming heebie-jeebies. As good as the new version may (or may not) end up, we’ll never completely get over the emotional scars left by Curry.

So it is with great anticipation that I tell you Dead Mouse Productions Ltd and Cult Screenings UK Ltd, makers of Leviathan: The Story of Hellraiser and You’re so cool, Brewster! The Story of Fright Night, are gearing up to produce a fully independent retrospective into the making of the 1990 TV miniseries of Stephen King’s IT. Exploring the series’ cultural impact over the last 28 years, the upcoming documentary Pennywise: The Story of IT, is being directed by Chris Griffiths and is set to “tell a story heard by few and showcase a wealth of behind-the-scenes footage and photos seen by even fewer.”

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I was super excited to see the new Blade Runner 2049 trailer released this week, partially because I was curious to see how much if any actual running Harrison Ford would actually be doing.

Okay, don’t look at me like you weren’t wondering exactly the same thing.

Turns out, there was more than one item to discuss in this latest look into our dark futures.

First, Mr. Ford does do a bit of a hustle at the 1:41 mark, which incidentally was not bad for a 75-year-old man. Next, Jared Leto’s Wallace character is sufficiently creepy with those cataract contact lenses. And apparently you make the future even more futuristic with 3-story-tall, sexed up holograms – who knew?

But what is really giving the fan girls and boys fits is the possible Easter egg at the 15-second mark.

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Consider for a moment your adult self, with all your current knowledge, experience and (theoretic) ability to know better, magically transported back in time to relive the trials and tribulations of your incredibly awkward and potentially misspent youth.

Would you do it?

Personally that’s a great big “no” with several colorful swear words preceding it. But this is the exact personal hell soon to be faced by Sigourney Weaver.

Sort of.

Ridley Scott isn’t ruling out a young Ellen Ripley entering the storyline in one of his planned Alien: Covenant sequels, via the magic of CGI de-aging.

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I discovered Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House, considered one of the best ghost stories of the 20th century, in fourth grade. Not because it was on the approved reading list for nine-year-olds – on the contrary, I didn’t run into it academically until high school – but because I came across it during a summer reading program at my public library. Thankfully, librarians then were far less politically correct than they apparently are today, and they didn’t discourage browsing of selections that were not strictly “age appropriate.”

Since I fell in love with all things Shirley, I discovered Hill House had two theatrical adaptations, both call The Haunting; one in 1963 by Robert Wise, and one in 1999 (my guilty pleasure) directed by Jan de Bont and starring Liam Neeson, Owen Wilson, Cathrine Zeta-Jones, and The Conjuring‘s Lili Taylor. Both telling the tale of a group of people spending a summer in a mansion rich in haunted history and tales of the paranormal, who soon realize the stories are not just old wives tales as they begin to experience the supernatural and malevolent phenomena for themselves.

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