Black Gate

In celebration of the recent streaming series, Alien: Earth (whether you enjoyed it or not), I have created a new list of films that most certainly exist in the Weyland-Yutani universe, and if not certainly, then enjoy an unbelievably tenuous link to it.

This will be an ordered list of sixteen films, four a week, in reverse order, and is guaranteed to enrage you. The Alien and Predator films, and all those in between, are beloved by some, held sacred by a few, and the subjects of intense debate. My opinions will most certainly not align with yours, but I hope to keep you guessing as to my top four!

#12 – Prometheus (2012)

Strong link, or tenuous as all hell? Strong like ox.

What’s the link? It’s in the Alien universe. There’s an old geezer called Weyland in it.

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In celebration of the recent streaming series Alien: Earth (whether you enjoyed it or not), I have created a new list of films that most certainly exist in the Weyland-Yutani universe, and if not certainly, then enjoy an unbelievably tenuous link to it.

This will be an ordered list of sixteen films, four a week, in reverse order, and is guaranteed to enrage you. The Alien and Predator films, and all those in between, are beloved by some, held sacred by a few, and the subjects of intense debate. My opinions will most certainly not align with yours, but I hope to keep you guessing as to my top four!

This list is as complete as I could make it, as I’m only including films I have seen, and I am sure there are one or two other movies out there that have a sneaky W-Y easter-egg buried in the background. Also note the absence of 2022’s Prey, which is indeed a Predator flick (and would have ranked very high on my list), but Weyland-Yutani didn’t exist in its time period, so I’m not including it. Are these rules flawed? Probably. I’m making them up as I go along.

I am limiting this list to sixteen films. There are plenty of TV shows that have snuck in a Weyland-Yutani reference; Firefly, Angel (essentially anything created by Joss Whedon), the V remake, even Dr. Who, and of course the recent show, Alien: Earth. I won’t be discussing any of these, but for the record I really enjoyed Alien: Earth, so there.

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A new, twenty-film watch-a-thon, this time looking at horror films from around the world. The rules are the same — they must be films I haven’t seen before, and they must be free to stream.

With a bit of luck, this new watch project will feature a lot more quality films as I unearth horror from around the globe. With that said…

Sick Nurses – Thailand – (2007)

Hey there, you. Fancy watching a film about six sexy nurses who sell body parts on the side getting offed by a vengeful ghost? Would you like your story with a side of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff, in an unspecified setting save a remarkably under-populated hospital? Would you like this tale to be at once hilarious and downright ghastly, with lashings of gore and death by handbag?

How about some frenetic filmmaking with surreal set-pieces, bizarre lighting, and a scary, long-haired spirit who looks like she’s doing a Vogue spread?

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A new, twenty-film watch-a-thon, this time looking at horror films from around the world. The rules are the same — they must be films I haven’t seen before, and they must be free to stream.

With a bit of luck, this new watch project will feature a lot more quality films as I unearth horror from around the globe. With that said…

Uncaged (AKA Prey) – Netherlands – (2016)

We are introduced to Lizzy (Sophie van Winden) with her hand down a crocodile’s gullet, trying to retrieve a cellphone. This tells us a couple of things; she’s fearless, and she’s okay working with large animal puppets. This will come in useful. Lizzy is called in by the police as an expert after some folks turn up mangled, having been mauled to death by something big. Following another attack on a golf course, a rogue lion is confirmed, and it seems to have set its sights on Amsterdam.

After a series of botched and bloody attempts to trap the beast, Lizzy teams up with her dodgy boyfriend, cameraman Dave (Julian Looman), and her old flame, British hunter Jack De La Rue (Mark Frost), who is confined to an impressive wheelchair due to the last lion he hunted biting his leg off. After much larking around, the final confrontation takes place in Amsterdam University, and things get messy for a fun climax.

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A new, twenty-film watch-a-thon, this time looking at horror films from around the world. The rules are the same — they must be films I haven’t seen before, and they must be free to stream.

With a bit of luck, this new watch project will feature a lot more quality films as I unearth horror from around the globe. With that said…

Clementina – Argentina (2017)

I’m starting this new 20-film watch-a-thon with this masterful exploration of the trauma associated with domestic violence.

The true horror in this film from Jimena Monteoliva is the understanding that domestic violence in Argentina has escalated, with the perpetrators often escaping justice by fleeing the region.

The film begins with Juana, played with extraordinary rawness and vulnerability by Cecilia Cartasegna, lying curled up on the floor in a pool of her own blood, clutching her pregnant belly. We soon learn she has lost the baby, and her neighbour saw her husband, Mateo, running from the apartment.

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Sands of Oblivion (2007) – Tubi

Quite a mixed bag for this one; a cluster of decent actors, an intriguing storyline, a fun, practical monster, and then… SyFy CG effects, TV-safe horror, a dune buggy chase.

A bunch of scientists, Egyptologists, and film historians find themselves in the Guadalupe-Nipomo Dunes in Santa Barbara, CA, site of Cecil B. De Mille’s epic production of The Ten Commandments. They are there to oversee the digging up and relocation of the original sets, but wouldn’t you know it, old Cecil used real artifacts in his film, and one is a cursed amulet that sets free a demonic force hellbent on destroying the world.

Or something.

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A new 20-film watch-a-thon project. All previously unseen, all free to watch. The twist for this one is that I typed the word ‘mummy’ into Tubi’s search engine, and just chose the first 20 films that showed up. I already know this is going to be terrible, and I’m really interested to see if any of the films I’m going to watch will score higher than 5 out of 10. Here goes…

Isis Rising: Curse of the Lady Mummy (AKA Tomb of the Mummy) (2013) – Tubi

Once again I am tricked like the feeble-minded fool that I am by a film with the word ‘mummy’ in the title, and no mummy in the film.

A hokey, green-screen prologue tells the sordid tale of King Osiris, his sister and wife, Isis, and his jealous brother Seth. Seth fancies Isis (his sister-in-law and sister), so he has Osiris killed and chopped up. However, Isis is a witch of sorts, and vows to reassemble Osiris before she herself is murdered.

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Starting a new 20-film watch-a-thon project. All previously unseen, all free to watch. The twist for this one is that I typed the word ‘mummy’ into Tubi’s search engine, and just chose the first 20 films that showed up. I already know this is going to be terrible, and I’m really interested to see if any of the films I’m going to watch will score higher than 5 out of 10. Here goes…

The Mummy Resurrected (2014) – Tubi

Straight out of the gate comes this steaming pile from Halcyon International Pictures, a production company in the same vein as The Asylum, UnCork’d, and Wild Eye. HIP had a go at ‘reinventing’ a bunch of classic horror stories, and for this one they claim it is based on Bram Stoker’s The Jewel of Seven Stars, a tenuous claim at best.

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Rise of the Machine Girls (2019) – Tubi

Arriving eleven years after Noboru Iguchi’s Machine Girl, this film is directed by Yûki Kobayashi in the frenetic style of a live-action manga — all high energy, insane reaction shots, and over-the-top violence.

In a dystopian town, a desperate population is forced to survive by selling their body parts and organs to the ruthless Dharmas, the crime family that controls the area. In the midst of this misery is a small cabaret show that features a pair of girls, Ami and Yoshi, who put on displays of combat for their adoring customers, when they would rather just be ‘idols,’ doing cute dances and making cute sounds. Yoshi has already lost an arm, and she sets out to get revenge on the Dharma family for something or other. She is captured and tortured, and it is down to Ami and a helpful assassin to save her.

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Septic Man (2013) – Plex

From the country that is about to bring you The Pee Pee Poo Poo Man (Canada), comes another scatological extravaganza — Septic Man! From the writer of the excellent ‘Pontypool’, this is an origin story, although I’m not sure if they plan to make any more.

Jack is a sanitary worker who has been tasked to discover the cause of an entire town’s poisoned water. We know the water is poisoned because the very opening scene involves a poor woman spurting from every orifice in the filthiest bathroom you have ever seen. With the tone set, the film proceeds to trap Jack in a disgusting septic tank, surrounded by bodies, and slowly mutating due to the toxic whatnots in the water.

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