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Author: Bob Byrne

Hither Came Conan wins REH Foundation Award!

Hither Came Conan wins REH Foundation Award!

frank-frazetta-conan-the-barbarian1_smallHither Came Conan, Indeed!

I think it was early in 2015, I decided I wanted to gather a bunch of folks who know more about Robert E. Howard than I did (THAT was an endless list!) and have them write about all kinds of different facets of Howard and his life. Sure, there would be a little Conan, but I wanted to minimize that. I wanted to introduce folks (and further teach others) about various aspects of this amazing writer. And so was born Discovering Robert E. Howard; almost three dozen essays by an All-Star cast of REH experts and fans. Here’s the final post in the series, with links all the prior ones.

It went over great, and I got to know the REH community a lot better than I did before. Inspired by an irregular series I was writing about Rex Stout’s Nero Wolfe stories (I’m a gargantuan fan), I thought it would be fun to ‘round up the usual – and unusual – suspects’ (if you know me, you know that’s from my favorite movie of all time) and tackle Conan. Each contributor would explain why that story was the best of REH’s original Conan tales (no pastiches here). The twist was, each story was randomly assigned! I used an Excel spreadsheet and did a blind assignment – the modern technology equivalent of names out of a hat.

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What I’m Watching: June 2021

What I’m Watching: June 2021

Here we are, almost halfway through June, and I can hear you asking, “Gee, I wonder what Bob has been watching?” Seriously. I can hear it. This isn’t just me putting off the hard work of starting up A (Black) Gat in the Hand this week. I watched some stuff for the first time, and revisited a few things.

GET SHORTY

The late Elmore Leonard was a terrific writer. His characters and his dialogue were outstanding. He excelled at hardboiled, and could spice it with humor as needed. 3:10 to Yuma (The original and the remake are fine films) is based on one of his early short stories – the man could write Westerns. My all-time favorite TV show, Justified, sprang from his Raylan Givens short story, “Fire in the Hole.”

Leonard has been the source of over two dozen movies and television shows. His 1990 novel, Get Shorty, helped re-launch John Travolta’s career. With Gene Hackman, Dennis Farina, Danny DeVito, and Delroy Lindo, it’s a great watch. And a highly recommended read!

In the summer of 2017, EPIX launched a ten-episode series starring Chris O’Dowd (who was GREAT in The IT Crowd) and Ray Romano. It’s been renewed twice, for a total of twenty-seven episodes. The third season finale aired on November 3, 2019. There has been ZERO noise on whether the show will get another season, or be canceled. Get Shorty is running on radio silence. Kinda odd, really.

I love the book. I love the movie. I like the series. It is not an adaptation of the novel. I would say that it’s based on the concept of Leonard’s book. In the series, a mob soldier wants something more and ends up laundering his boss’ money by producing a historical epic in Hollywood. That’s a variation from the book, where a small-time loan shark runs down a skip and forces his way into the movie business while dealing with an unfriendly mobster from back home.

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Tucker and Dale vs. EVIL

Tucker and Dale vs. EVIL

Today I’m trying to fit in with the cool kids. I usually have to sit by myself at the Mystery table. But this week, I pull my booster seat up to the Horror table. I love a good homage movie that is also funny. Something that’s more pastiche, than lowbrow parody. The best example I can think of is Galaxy Quest. It pokes fun at the science fiction mores and tropes, largely established by the original Star Trek television series. And it does it by delving deeply into the cult fandom which that show inspired. It has a tremendous cast and is lovingly hilarious. It’s clever funny; The British Office. Not dumb funny; Dumb and Dumber (which I find utterly stupid and unwatchable).

In the mystery field, it’s Without a Clue, which turns the Holmes story on its head. Ben Kingsley is the genius, crime-solving Doctor Watson, who hires the unemployed, drunkard actor, Reginald Kincaid, to play Holmes for public consumption. Watson feeds Holmes clues, solutions, lines, the works; and Michael Caine is utterly fantastic as the front man, the great Sherlock Holmes. It’s brilliant and hilarious. One of my five favorite Holmes movies.

Some would point to Army of Darkness as this type of movie in the horror field. It’s Bruce Campbell’s Evil Dead Light. I get it (and The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. is my all time second-favorite TV show). For me, Tucker and Dale vs. EVIL is right there with Galaxy Quest, and Without a Clue.

This movie has all the pieces; a road  encounter with hillbillies; college kids in the woods; chainsaws and wood chippers; skinny-dipping coeds; a massacre at the same place twenty years before; bodies piling up one at a time: it’s all there. But it’s all turned upside down!

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The Public Life of Sherlock Holmes: John Malkovich’s Poirot

The Public Life of Sherlock Holmes: John Malkovich’s Poirot

And, we’re back!! Black Gate had some difficulties and was offline for last week’s regular spot, but the world is back to normal. Well, not really, but I’m here on Monday morning, anyways. I was really torn on what to write about for today’s column. Obviously, the final vote was in favor of The ABC Murders, starring John Malkovich. But it was a near thing. Recently, I watched the first couple episodes of Thunder in Paradise. That show, which is classic nineties Gorgonzola, was a tame version of the big budget action films of the era. Hulk Hogan and Chris Lemmon (Jack’s son) are ex-Navy Seals with a prototype speedboat that is a Kit-light (for you Knightrider fans). But that turned out to be an essay for another day.

So, it’s Amazon’s three-part take on the 1935 novel. It aired in 2018, and Malkovich was 63. Of course, he has always looked a bit old, and he conveys Poirot’s weariness quite well. This is a Poirot past-his-prime.

THERE BE SPOILERS– You can go watch this on Amazon. It’s not hard to find. I try to write no/low-spoiler essays, but sometimes you gotta say what you gotta say. If you’ve not seen this version, and don’t want any surprises (and there are a few), go watch it before reading on. – END SPOILER ALERT

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What I’ve Been Watching: May 2021

What I’ve Been Watching: May 2021

Last month I shared what I’ve been reading lately. Being the unoriginal guy that I am, I figured this week, it would be what I’ve been watching!

RELIC HUNTER

A decade after Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (number three in the franchise), an Indy take-off show hit the airwaves. Now, many of you know Tia Carrere best as Akivasha, the evil sorceress in Kevin Sorbo’s Kull, which was reportedly to be the third Conan film starring Schwarzenegger (though there’s a different story about a third film: that’s fodder for another post). But Ah-nuld passed and instead we got a forgettable film with no relation to Robert E. Howard’s actual Kull character. I’m kidding! Not about the Conan/Kull stuff – that’s all true. But that’s not why you know Carrere, who was of course Cassandra in Wayne’s World; and she had a prominent part in Arnie’s True Lies.

For sixty-six episodes, covering three seasons, she was Sydney Fox, a Professor who traveled the globe, chasing down items of antiquity. Or, at least a couple decades old, anyways. Which is why the show is called Relic Hunter. She is assisted by Nigel, a dweeby assistant professor (played by Christien Anholt). Lindy Booth, who pops up in various productions (mostly made in Canada) is her useless, brainless, bimbo of an office assistant, foisted on her because her father is a donor to the school. Booth had two notable appearances in A&E’s A Nero Wolfe Mystery.

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What I’m Reading: May 2021

What I’m Reading: May 2021

I’ve been taking advantage of listening to some audio books throughout the day – I only listen to unabridged versions, unless it’s a book I’ve read before, and know well enough that leaving parts out is okay. I don’t really care for abridgments – in addition to the usual reading. Helps the day pass faster, and lets me get to more things.

DORTMUNDER (Donald Westlake)

I think that Donald Westlake is one of those authors who is more respected than popular. He wrote a lot of good books, but he’s not generally well known. But people ‘who know’ like Westlake. I’m most a fan of his caper/heist books. I think he is to those what Ed McBain is to police procedurals.

Westlake can write over-the-top comedy, and understated funny. And he can mix the two in the same book. John Dortmunder appeared in fourteen books between 1970 and 2009, as well about a dozen short stories. Dortmunder is a pessimistic thief who continually runs into amusing (though not to him) obstacles. Exasperated, he continues forward, moving inexorably towards the next speed bump; or concrete wall in the road. The humor is not overtly screwball, but Dortmunder’s exasperation can be laugh out loud.

Dortmunder usually puts together a team, and the recurring characters add to the series. I love how Murch describes the route he is going to/did drive; even if it’s just coming from his house to a meeting. Dortmunder and group are after an emerald in the first book.

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A (Black) Gat in the Hand: Appaloosa – Hardboiled Western

A (Black) Gat in the Hand: Appaloosa – Hardboiled Western

You’re the second guy I’ve met within hours who seems to think a gat in the hand means a world by the tail.” – Phillip Marlowe in Raymond Chandler’s The Big Sleep

(Gat — Prohibition Era term for a gun. Shortened version of Gatling Gun)

I enjoy a good Western on the screen. Tombstone is my favorite, with Rio Bravo not too far behind. And I usually watch at least a little if it’s got Randolph Scott or Joel McCrea in it. So you know that Ride the High Country, with its breathtaking cinematography, is in the mix. And be it Maverick or Support Your Local Sheriff, I love seeing James Garner in a cowboy hat. I wrote about one of my favorite TV shows, Hell on Wheels.

But I’ve not read too many Westerns. Looking over the two-thousandish books on my shelves, I only see Steven Hockensmith’s Holmes on the Range series – which is in the Sherlock Holmes section, of course. And a fine collection of short stories by my second-favorite author, Robert E. Howard. And neither would be there solely based on their genre. I do have a few more Westerns in ebook format, which I’ve transitioned to over the past decade.

I’ve meant to write about T. T. Flynn’s Westerns. Flynn authored the Bail Bond Dodd stories, about a fairly tough, but not really hardboiled, bail bondsman, for Dime Detective. But I was smart enough to get Duane Spurlock to contribute a piece to A (Black) Gat in the Hand, which you can read here. Regular readers of that series (assuming there are any) know that Norbert Davis is on my Hardboiled Mt. Rushmore, second only to ‘Dash.’ So it’s not surprising I wrote an essay on his story “A Gunsmoke Case for Major Cain.” Another Davis Western post is likely somewhere down the dusty trail.

This past weekend, I decided to revisit a Western movie from 2008 which I had seen once before; but the plot details were fuzzy. So, kinda familiar, kinda new. What I did remember was that I thought it was pretty good. And a second view drove that home like a sod buster splitting a fence rail (okay, okay, no more of that. Too much, anyways).

A friend of mine with a long list of IMDB credits has said several times that Hollywood just doesn’t like big budget Westerns. And it’s true that we do get one of them occasionally, but they’re never billed as summer blockbusters. And heaven for-fend a franchise develop! Of course, television is more friendly to the genre.

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Nero Wolfe’s Brownstone: Stay at Home – Days 32 and 33

Nero Wolfe’s Brownstone: Stay at Home – Days 32 and 33

So, last year, as the Pandemic settled in like an unwanted relative who just came for a week and is still tying up the bathroom, I did a series of posts for the FB Page of the Nero Wolfe fan club, The Wolfe Pack. I speculated on what Stay at Home would be like for Archie, living in the Brownstone with Nero Wolfe, Fritz Brenner, and Theodore Horstmann. I have already re-posted days one through thirty. Here are days thirty two (April 21) and thirty three (April 23). It helps if you read the series in order, so I’ve included links to the earlier entries.

DAY THIRTY TWO – 2020 Stay At Home

I saw the death totals today. New York is number one, hands down. We’ve had more deaths than the next fourteen states combined. Seven out of every hundred people confirmed to have the virus, die from it. So I won’t be taking any taxi rides just yet. Or hopping on the subway.

While I admit I miss my twice-a-week session at the barbershop – preferably on days without a cop murder on site – I don’t see the need to increase somebody else’s risk of dying because I’m not happy with my sideburns. I do look forward to getting shoe shines again, though I am more than capable of doing my own.

And by the way: don’t think that Lily and I are drifting apart. We call every other day. I just don’t see the need to jot that down regularly.

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The Public Life of Sherlock Holmes: Another Radio Poirot

The Public Life of Sherlock Holmes: Another Radio Poirot

A few weeks ago, I wrote about John Moffatt’s outstanding radio show, in which he played Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot. I think it is, and will remain, unsurpassed. Today, we’re going to go back and look at the first radio series starring the fussy little Belgian detective.

By 1944, there had been a few radio appearances featuring Poirot. Including a production by Orson Welles, starring Orson Welles, for Orson Welles’ radio show. (It’s all about Orson). I’ll write about that one later. Sam Spade, Sherlock Holmes, Charlie Chan, Ellery Queen, Philip Marlowe, The Falcon: detectives were popular radio fare. And an American actor and entertainment entrepreneur by the name of Harold Huber, set out to add Agatha Christie’s famous creation as a regular attraction of the airwaves.

Huber obtained the rights to Poirot for an American radio show. Agatha Christie’s Poirot debuted on February 2, 1945, featuring a live introduction from Christie, across the sea. Except, after about thirty seconds of silence, the announcer for the Mutual Broadcasting System explained that atmospheric conditions prevented the connection. MBS did have the foresight to record a short-wave transmission from Christie earlier that day, and played that in place of her live appearance. Having Christie explain that Poirot was busy, so she would introduce the series, was a pretty neat move in those times LONG before cell phones and podcasts.

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Nero Wolfe’s Brownstone: 2020 Stay at Home – Day 31

Nero Wolfe’s Brownstone: 2020 Stay at Home – Day 31

So, last year, as the Pandemic settled in like an unwanted relative who just came for a week and is still tying up the bathroom, I did a series of posts for the FB Page of the Nero Wolfe fan club, The Wolfe Pack. I speculated on what Stay at Home would be like for Archie, living in the Brownstone with Nero Wolfe, Fritz Brenner, and Theodore Horstmann. I have already re-posted days one through thirty. Here is day thirty one (April 20). It helps if you read the series in order, so I’ve included links to the earlier entries.

Day Thirty One – 2020 Stay at Home (SaH)

During breakfast, Fritz told me that some items were becoming scarce, or even no longer available. Granted, we didn’t exactly buy off-the-shelf goods from chain supermarkets. But it was inevitable that some things would become harder to find. Especially since Wolfe’s taste ran to imported items. Fritz assured me we were well-stocked with Greek honey.

Milk can still be found, but he did say that once in while he might have to try two or three stores. I thanked him for his efforts to keep calcium supplies up. He said that with more and more meat processing plant workers getting sick, fresh meat was soon going to become more scarce. I told him I knew that he’d do his best, but Wolfe would just have to adapt, like the rest of us. He certainly would complain about it, though.

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