A 20 film marathon of werewolf movies I’ve never seen before.

As usual, the films must be free to stream.

I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

Werewolf Rising (2014) YouTube

Man or beast? It looks more like a hairy extra from The Hobbit.

Howling’ good time? Nope. We are off to a rip-roaring start with this dull effort shot entirely in Arkansas, if that floats your boat.

A paper thin plot is played out in a forest with a single digit, lacklustre cast and the whole shebang is shot in glorious murky-vision. The only redeeming feature might have been the beast(s), but they are rubbish.

Oh god. What have I started?

3/10

Werewolf Woman (Agorà, March 18, 1976) and Another Wolfcop (RLJE Films, July 29, 2017)

Werewolf Woman (1976) Tubi

Man or beast? Naked, hairy, black-nosed lady.

Howling’ good time? Apparently, this is a favorite of Quentin Tarantino, but I swear half of his favorites are just obscure titles that he had access to while working in a dodgy video store that he could use as bragging rights. It has elements of revenge flicks that he would use in his own films, but the rest is a messy potpourri of sex, violence, and sexual violence. This being the 70s and Italian, the main feature is hair, whether it is covering the voluptuous frame of the titular lady, the upper lips of the men, or more nether-regions than a topiary enthusiast could ever dream of.

It’s a sordidly strange tale of a woman who is horrifically raped and her lover murdered, who exacts revenge in the guise of a werewolf without any transformation due to recurring dreams that she is the descendant of a werewolf. Confused? You will be. Weird, uncomfortable, badly dubbed.

Can’t say I loved it – but it had a couple of decent moments and some good old-fashioned Italian exploitation gore.

6/10

Another Wolfcop (2017) Prime

Man or beast? Great, practical, wolf. Cop.

Howling’ good time? A proudly Canadian production, this sequel takes the original concept (cop Lou Garou is bitten by a werewolf and brings his new persona to the job) and ramps up the insanity. Reptilian mutants, moustachioed parasitic stomach worms, extremely hairy sex, extremely gory deaths, Gowan on repeat and Kevin Smith yelling ‘slam a cold cock!’ at any given moment. It’s stupid as all hell and I loved it.

Bonus points for enormous werewang.

8/10

Iron Wolf (RJ Nier Films, September 13, 2013) and Dr. Jekyll vs. the Werewolf (Filmaco, 1972)

Iron Wolf (2013) YouTube

Man or beast? Ruby’s bottom of the line costume.

Howling’ good time? Don’t be fooled by the poster (or any poster for that matter), this is not a jolly werewolf romp set in WW2. The film begins that way, with some mis-matched Nazis working in a secret lab (industrial site) and showing off their werewolf that they have trained to only attack non-Nazis.

It’s cheap and cheerful, and somewhat passable, but then is brutally cut short and jumps forward in time to some extremely dull modern, German teenagers. They are hanging around the semi-ruined labs for some B.S. reason, the wolf creature gets out, and it becomes a ‘desperate fight for survival’. The direction is pretty limp, and the acting isn’t great – I really wish the German cast had been allowed to speak German and for the film to be subtitled. It makes no sense to flatly deliver the lines – lines that are flat to begin with.

As usual, the only saving grace could have been the werewolf, but this big doofus is just a dude in a Halloween wolf costume (and not the deluxe version) stuffed into a Nazi uniform. Laughably bad.

4/10

Dr. Jekyll vs. the Werewolf (1972) Tubi

Man or beast? Hairy-faced fella.

Howlin’ good time? I’m no stranger to Paul Naschy werewolf flicks, but this is one of the dozen movies he made that I missed. As with the other Spanish-produced films in this series, Naschy plays the wolfman, searching for a cure, and the whole shebang has that lovely dark gothic feel of the other films.

However, this one has a personality split as broad as the titular characters. The first hour is tedious, lots of sitting around talking, but then, once Dr. Jekyll’s grandson starts shooting up the wolfman, it goes batshit crazy. Cue Hyde going on a sadistic rampage, whipping every bosom he lays eyes on, go-go dancing, drunk tipping and other nefarious tomfoolery. It’s not enough to save the movie, but it is daft enough to warrant an extra mark.

5/10

The Shattering (Film Cartel Entertainment, March 24, 2015) and Werewolves Within (IFC Films, June 25, 2021)

The Shattering (2015) YouTube

Man or beast? Unseen thingy.

Howlin’ good time? Let’s get this one out of the way. A group of randos are stuck in a cabin due to a bullshit plot line involving a healer. Some hunters are stuck in the woods due to some bullshit plot line about collecting wolf spit. A POV camera eats most of them. A very bold decision to not show a single werewolf in this badly shot, badly acted, werewolf flick. The only shattering that went on was in my pants when I realized I had to sit through this tedious dirge.

3/10

Werewolves Within (2021) Netflix

Man or beast? Nice, practical werewolf.

Howlin’ good time? I really should have saved this until last, but I needed a little pick-me-up, and this sure hit the spot. Based on the videogame Werewolf, this film is a joy from start to finish. It’s a horror comedy in the same vein as Shaun of the Dead, even going so far as to include some Edgar Wright-type editing, and for the most part, the comedy sticks the landing.

It helps that the two leads are so likeable and awkward; Sam Richardson is perfect as a spineless park ranger, and Milana Vayntrub is adorable (and renews my pining for the aborted Squirrel Girl series). The setting is a hokey town in Vermont, full of troubled characters that put me in mind of Northern Exposure, or even Twin Peaks, and the plot weaves in a bit of social commentary about pipelines, gentrification, and acceptance.

For a further comparison, I had as much fun with this as I did with The Beast Must Die, and I even guessed correctly! Highly recommended.

9/10

Previous Murkey Movie surveys from Neil Baker include:

What a Croc
Prehistrionics
Jumping the Shark
Alien Overlords
Biggus Footus
I Like Big Bugs and I Cannot Lie
The Weird, Weird West
Warrior Women Watch-a-thon

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Neil Baker’s last article for us was What a Croc, Part III. Neil spends his days watching dodgy movies, most of them terrible, in the hope that you might be inspired to watch them too. He is often asked why he doesn’t watch ‘proper’ films, and he honestly doesn’t have a good answer. He is an author, illustrator, outdoor educator and owner of April Moon Books (AprilMoonBooks.com).