The Black Waters of Echo’s Pond (Parallel Media, April 9, 2010)
and The Conjuring (New Line Cinema, July 15, 2013)

20 new watches, all featuring my least favorite horror genre, possession and exorcism flicks. The power of Christ compels you to follow along.

The Black Waters of Echo’s Pond (2010) – Tubi

So, here we are, at the beginning of a slew of 20 possession/exorcism flicks. This is seriously my least favorite horror genre — I find them all a bit samey, and lacking in humor, but we’re here now, and I’ll try to slip some little known films in between the bigger budget affairs.

Black Waters is a good place to start — it’s not offensively terrible, but it’s also not great, so it’s a fitting bar. In 1924, some black and white archeologists unearth a hidden shrine to the ‘Pans’, those goaty flute tooters who love a party. They also find instructions to build a device to summon said Pans. Before you know it, they’ve killed each other on an island off Maine.

Flash forward several decades, and some adolescent fodder has come to party on the same island, which is apparently only inhabited by Robert Patrick who is waiting for a decent role-call to come in. It doesn’t take long for these yoots to discover the device (an elaborate Jumanji-type board game) and inadvertently summon an extra from Narnia, who whispers naughty suggestions in their ears. Shenanigans ensue.

This one also stars Danielle (Halloween) Harris, and James (ID4) Duval, and they both do what’s needed of them, but the rest of the cast isn’t really up to par. The story and script are a bit dire, but the whole thing is saved with some great practical gore and spooky ol’ black eyes (I suspect I’ll be seeing a lot of these).

An average recommendation. 5/10

The Conjuring (2013) – Netflix

We plod on with a ‘proper’ film, the first in James Wan’s ‘Conjureverse’, that really sets the tone for the other films. Being a James Wan film, it’s beautifully shot, with plenty of his directorial flourishes to keep me happy, and he is really adept at setting up a scary payoff (Dead Silence will always be my favorite from him though).

The film centers on the real life charismatic charlatans, Ed and Lorraine Warren, and turns them into the founding Avengers in this subgenre of flicks, especially Lorraine. They are asked to investigate a family’s house that is causing all manner of terrible things to happen to mom and dad and their five daughters, and as the story unravels along with a couple of minds, we learn of its dark history and why the malevolent spirits want to cause such a kerfuffle.

It’s all based on people and events that allegedly happened, but turned up to 11 for horror film reasons, and everyone does a bang up job, especially our leads, Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga, and the put-upon Lili Taylor and Ron Livingstone.

Personally, I only got really invested in the second half when the crew arrived at the house to set up equipment and get down and dirty with the ghosts, although I acknowledge what a creepy set-up preceded these scenes. All in all, a slick, beautifully shot film, and I’m sure you don’t need my recommendation. 8/10

Panman (2011) – Tubi

An ultra-low budget slasher flick that evokes elements of the 80s genre classics, except through the lens of a rubbish camera. This is one of those annoying efforts where the potential is painfully obvious, but is squandered by terrible choices and some truly awful acting.

A Russian chef is killed and possesses the body of a culinary student, turning him into Panman, a vengeful killer with a pot on his head. Panman proceeds to messily murder more culinary students (for reasons) and it is up to the custard professor to assemble a useless team to put an end to it.

There’s a couple of decent twists, and lots of great gore, but the whole affair is made a slog to watch due to shoddy filmmaking and THE worst case of over-acting I have ever seen. The actors playing the sisters were excellent though, and I wish the rest of the cast had been told to take it as seriously — just let funny be, stop trying to force it.

A vague recommendation. 4/10

The Pope’s Exorcist (2023) – Crave

We witness the main protagonist show off his skills by ridding a poor sap of a demonic presence in the first few minutes. Then we watch as a young family take possession of a spooky new domicile, just as a whole new bucket of demons is unleashed.

So far, so Conjuring. I truly suspect over the half the films coming up follow the same story.

Anyhoo — it’s up to the Pope’s super-exorcist to help the family out when their son is turned into a potty-mouthed hell spawn, and we soon learn the scale of the stakes at play.

I had a lot of fun watching this one, mostly because of Russell Crowe. He was having a great time playing this scooter-riding bad ass priest, and his mannerisms and little asides were hilarious. Everyone played their parts well, even Franco Nero (!) as the Pope.

At one point it all goes a bit Tomb Raider, then full on Exorcist, then a little bit From Dusk Til Dawn at the end.

A bloody good time was had by all, and it set itself up for 199 sequels. Nicely done. 8/10

Don’t Look at the Demon (2022) – Tubi

Before we get started, I just want to point out that I had lots of posters to choose from, but I chose this one because it looks like a shot from the worst Macy’s Day parade ever.

In search of something a little less Catholic, I discovered this recent effort that is based on a terrible (and now illegal) practice from Malaysia. The director, Brando Lee, has allegedly had first-hand experience of all this, and this being his third film demonstrates that he knows the ropes — I thought it was really well directed.

The story concerns a production crew who make their bread and butter filming ‘possessions’ for a reality series, but all of their investigations have required some fakery, until now. A married couple contact them as they have been going through some strange experiences, but when the crew arrives these events really ramp up. This is partly due to Jules, the resident ‘psychic’, who bridges the gap between the alive and the dead. The film starts as your typical possession movie, but gets very, VERY, dark rather quickly, and the final denouement is particularly shocking.

Trigger warning for folks who don’t like scenarios with babies. Stay away.

The cast are different levels of good, although the standout is Jules, and this is because she is played by Fiona Dourif who, like her dad, elevates any project she is involved with.

I wasn’t expecting it to be this good, and I recommend it to folks who like floaters and assorted ghastliness. 8/10

The Cleansing Hour (2019) – Prime

I vaguely recall hearing good things about this one being a decent balance of horror and humor, and they were right. It’s a blast, annoyingly enjoyable, and I don’t like how this marathon is changing my mind about possession flicks.

‘Father Max’ is the onscreen talent of a hoax exorcism streaming show called The Cleansing Hour. Max, along with his best friend Drew are failed priests, and now they are fleecing their online flock with fake demonstrations and chintzy ‘Vatican-approved’ merchandise.

When circumstances dictate that Drew’s fiancé, Lane, must step in and pretend to be the possessed subject, things very quickly escalate as the men realize they are dealing with a real demon, and everything quite literally goes to hell.

As with many of these films, the ‘priests’ have to come to terms with their own failings in order to save the ones they love, and the whole violent and sordid affair is streamed live to an ever-increasing audience that has no useful suggestions.

The online backdrop works really well here, and its worth pausing now and then to read the hilarious (and disturbing) comments being made — an accurate indicator of online discourse today.

The leads were all excellent, the effects were goopy and horrific and the film zipped along to a glorious finale with nary an ounce of fat.

Recommended. 9/10

Witchtrap (Cinema Plus, September 7, 1989)

Witchtrap (1989) – Tubi

I realize that most of us think back fondly on the 80s as the golden age of horror, but it’s also worth remembering how much rubbish was also produced. Case in point, Witchtrap.

From the director of Witchboard, hoping to repeat his success, this one lands on the ‘so bad it’s good’ list with a clunk, but is it good? Is it?

A team of mediums, along with the worst security group ever, are trying to rid an old house of a demonic spirit so that it can be opened as a B&B. The spirit is a hairy demonologist, who has managed to hide his heart or something. We don’t care, we are here for the kills.

Sadly, these are a bit lackluster, and the only one that approaches the giddy heights of 80s foam rubber fun happens quite early on. Fan fave Linnea Quigley appears for about 15 mins before being offed, but at least she dies how she would have wanted; stabbed in the neck with a shower head while naked.

The only areas of note are how truly awful the dialogue is, and how horrendous some of the acting is. It’s hard to describe, but if you’ve seen it you’ll know what I’m talking about.

The film rips off every other possession film at the time, as well as Ghostbusters and, well just take a look at the bonus on the right poster above.

Avoid if you are sensible, recommended if you are daft like me. 4/10

Previous Murkey Movie surveys from Neil Baker include:

Fan of the Cave Bear
There, Wolves
What a Croc
Prehistrionics
Jumping the Shark
Alien Overlords
Biggus Footus
I Like Big Bugs and I Cannot Lie
The Weird, Weird West
Warrior Women Watch-a-thon

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Neil Baker’s last article for us was Fan of the Cave Bear. Neil spends his days watching dodgy movies, most of them terrible, in the hope that you might be inspired to watch them too. He is often asked why he doesn’t watch ‘proper’ films, and he honestly doesn’t have a good answer. He is an author, illustrator, outdoor educator and owner of April Moon Books (AprilMoonBooks.com).