Ape Canyon (Cyfuno Ventures, 2019), Bigfoot vs. The Illuminati (Wownow
Entertainment, 2020), and Big Legend (Sony Pictures Home Entertainment, 2018)

So it begins, a new watch project. All Bigfoot (or similar) movies, no Yetis allowed. They must be films I haven’t seen before. All free to stream.

Ape Canyon – 2019 – Prime

In tents? Nope – safe enough for my daughter to watch.

Any good? An interesting start to my watch-a-thon – this is actually a lightweight character study wrapped up in a dramedy, with nary a Sasquatch in sight. Right out of the gate, we are hit with the Moby Dick allegory that forms the spine of the story about a man-child in search of Bigfoot and meaning to his life, who drags his sensible sister along for the ride. Lots of bad decisions are made, but it’s gently satisfying and well made.

Hit or Myth? 7/10

Bigfoot vs. The Illuminati – 2020 – Tubi

In tents? No – unless PlayStation 2 cutscenes scare you.

Any good? Gonzo. Bizarro. Genres that, when well-written, can be hugely entertaining. This entirely CG shitshow is, however, a miserable experience. The writer/director, B.C. Fourteen, writes like an actual 14-yr-old, which is a shame because, as crap as the animation is, with a decent script this could have been a romp. Instead we get (stick with me here) the year 4044, alien reptilian aliens, the last remnants of humanity, a terminator, ancient Egyptian gods, Aleister Crowley, Josef Stalin, Van Helsing, Dr. Jekyll, a sassy Bigfoot and blowjob jokes.

Utter rubbish. Glad I watched this one early, as it would have sapped my will to carry on with this project later.

Hit or Myth? 1/10

Big Legend – 2018 – Prime

In tents? Good atmosphere throughout and a decent bit of yuckiness.

Any good? A good entry this early on in the project (I may regret this later), Big Legend is solidly put together with a great cast that includes a couple of cameos from genre legends Adrienne Barbeau and Lance Henriksen. I don’t want to detract from the lead though, Kevin Makely, who plays a broken and obsessive protagonist perfectly. Even though the third act fails to fully capitalize on an excellent build up, the climax is quite satisfying, and the ending had me genuinely excited for a sequel.

Hit or Myth? 8/10

Bigfoot’s Bride (Cyfuno Ventures, 2021), American Sasquatch
(BoomBastic Films, 2020), and Monstrous (377 Films, 2020)

Bigfoot’s Bride – 2021 – YouTube

In tents? Not at all.

Any good? A weird one. Rather than a hulking beast lurking in the shadows, this ‘Bigfoot’ is front and centre, in broad daylight, and hardly fits the titular name. Instead, this creature is more of a misshapen mountain man, complete with overalls and a fur coat. He looks like the toxic avenger, and sounds like he’s speaking through a toilet roll.

The creature (‘Fred’) seems to fall in love with a young woman camping alone after watching her pee, but rather than telling a love story a la Swamp Thing, it all goes south very quickly. This is a pretty dull watch, padded out by extended shots of fishing and Fred just sitting around, and the whole thing has been retroactively filtered to hell to resemble a 70s grind house flick, but the inconsistency and ridiculous pixel blood effects betray those intentions. Avoid.

Hit or Myth? 2/10

American Sasquatch – 2020 – Tubi

In tents? No.

Any good? The worst sin a filmmaker can commit is to make a boring film, and this is deathly dull. Of its 75 minute runtime, about 10 mins is unintelligible found footage, 20 mins is spent watching somebody cut down a bush while listening to the radio, go hiking and set up a camp, 10 mins is spent watching two hunters talking about some bullshit, and 20 mins is given over to faux YouTubers speaking directly to camera about nothing. It’s a disjointed mess and a complete waste of time. Don’t bother.

Hit or Myth? 1/10

Monstrous – 2020 – Prime

In tents? In places, yes – but not in the way I expected.

Any good? If you’re looking for a full-on Sasquatch horror film, this ain’t it. However, if you’re looking for a well made LGBTQ psychological thriller with a Sasquatch cameo, then you could do worse than this. It’s a bit like how 10 Cloverfield Lane was an excellent psychological thriller with alien cameos.

Monstrous isn’t the film I was looking for, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. The title has multiple meanings, and in fact the hairy guy on the poster is possibly the least monstrous part of the film. Still, it’s well directed and features some excellent performances, but I’m taking a point off for the curveballs. My search continues…

Hit or Myth? 7/10

Throwback (Sapphire Pictures, 2014)

Throwback – 2014 – YouTube

In tents? Not really.

Any good? My search for a decent Bigfoot movie takes me down under for this Aussie take on the myth featuring their own ‘Yowie’. The director, Travis Bain, did a great job with what was presumably a micro- budget, four committed actors (including Vernon Wells) and a gorgeous rain forest. Oh, and some dude in a hairy costume.

Bain wisely keeps Yowie partially hidden throughout and focuses on the interaction between his players. It’s fun, gently entertaining, but lacking actual terror. The hunt goes on…

Hit or Myth? 6/10

Previous Murkey Movie surveys from Neil Baker include:

I Like Big Bugs and I Cannot Lie
The Weird, Weird West
Warrior Women Watch-a-thon

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Neil Baker’s last article for us was Part III of I Like Big Bugs and I Cannot Lie. Neil spends his days watching dodgy movies, most of them terrible, in the hope that you might be inspired to watch them too. He is often asked why he doesn’t watch ‘proper’ films, and he honestly doesn’t have a good answer. He is an author, illustrator, outdoor educator and owner of April Moon Books (AprilMoonBooks.com).