Bug Buster (DMG Entertainment, 1998), Mesa of Lost Women (Howco Productions,
1953), and Earth vs. the Spider (American International Pictures, 1958)

Bug Buster – 1998 – Prime

Giant bugs?

Not until the last five minutes, then we get MOTHER BUG (Doug Jones)

CGI heavy?

A couple of unconvincing enhancements, but for the most part, practical and sticky.

Any good?

I started out with a bit of optimism due to the interesting cast including George Takei, James Doohan, Randy Quaid, Meredith Salanger, and a very young Katherine Heigl. Unfortunately, the script was so poor and the direction so pedestrian, that it turned into a bit of a slog.

It wanted desperately to be funny, quirky even, but the humor fell flatter than a roach under a boot. Takei plays a one-note (strangely pervy) scientist, Doohan ambles through it all with the weariness of a retired engineer, and the camera lingers way too uncomfortably on a young Heigl (who was 19 at the time, but seems younger). Randy Quaid, still riding the ID4 wave, takes the craziness of his drunken crop duster and turns it up to 11, to absolutely no one’s benefit. Ho hum.

5/10

Mesa of Lost Women – 1952 – Prime

Giant bugs?

Huge tarantulas.

CGI heavy?

What is CGI?

Any good?

A solid slice of monochrome cheese with some unexpected highlights. Featuring a score that sounds like a pair of badgers rutting on an acoustic guitar, and supported by a sarcastic narrator, this is a classic mad scientist tale, and it’s rather fun. Dr. Aranya (former child star Jackie Coogan) is swapping pituitary glands between women and insects and causing a bit of a kerfuffle.

So basically we have a secret mountain lab, staffed by beautiful women with insect brains, giant spiders with women’s brains and some Tod Browning rejects – what could go wrong?

6/10

Earth vs. The Spider – 1958 – Tubi

Giant bugs?

Giant tarantula!

CGI heavy?

This is 1958. Lots of rear-screen projection and optical effects though.

Any good?

I received a lot of great classic film suggestions, Them!, Tarantula, The Giant Mantis etc., but I’ve seen them all – except this one. An AIP movie, it’s directed by Bert I. Gordon, who cheekily references his own hit, ‘The Amazing Colossal Man’ in a meta moment and who would later go on to direct Empire of the Ants.

This entry, though by no means a classic, still features everything a 50s B-movie requires: 40-yr-old teenagers, a doubting sheriff, a useless boyfriend and one giant hairy leg prop.

Glorious.

7/10

The Strange World of Planet X, or Cosmic Monsters (Eros Films, 1958)

The Strange World of Planet X aka Cosmic Monsters – 1958- TMC

Giant bugs?

Giant cockroaches and other bugs.

CGI heavy?

Nope. Real insects (stolen from other movies)

Any good?

A lovely, British, meddling-with-science B-movie. There’s a lot of standing around delivering exposition in clipped British accents, with a Yank and a mademoiselle thrown in for the international markets. Meddling with magnetism and gravity and radiation causes some side effects, which include giant bugs and mad tramps, and Martin (Goldfinger, A Shot in the Dark) Benson turns up as a limey Klaatu to tell us the error of our ways.

Smashing dialogue (“It appears our new assistant is a female!” “Not bad looking too.”), and oh so terribly proper. Loved it.

7/10

Dead Ant (Arctic Zebra Pictures, 2017), Ticks (Republic Pictures,
1993), and Itsy Bitsy (Shout! Studios, 2019)

Dead Ant – 2017 – Tubi

Giant bugs?

Giant ants!

CGI heavy?

Mostly CG and sadly second-rate, although some practical effects are peppered throughout.

Any good?

My favorite so far. It took me by surprise, as I wasn’t expecting anything great, but this film wears its B-movie origins on its sleeve and just has a blast. I thought I knew what I was in for when the opening scene featured a young woman running in slow-motion from a giant ant, as she disrobes completely, tossing her underwear in futility at the monster, but that was just tacked on for the international market. The rest of the film is a bit smarter. True, 80% of the female characters are there purely for side-boob gags, but on the whole the cast was great, including Sean Astin (who gets a Hobbit joke in), Jake Busey (who is excellent) and Tom Arnold (who, frankly, has never been funnier. Seriously, his lines cracked me up.)

Unironically recommended, especially if you love fading metal bands.

7/10

Ticks – 1993 – Prime

Giant bugs?

Giant ticks! Plus Uber-Carson-Tick.

CGI heavy?

None, bar a bit of compositing. All the rest is glorious, gooey, practical puppets.

Any good?

Somehow, I’ve never seen this slice of early 90s mayhem, and I’m so glad to have finally caught up with it. Another Brian Yuzna production (although this is Doug Beswick’s baby), Ticks feels like it was made in 1985 and that’s a good thing. A van-load of 80s stereotypes (street tough Hispanic kid, posh girl, quiet girl, street tough black kid, final girl, young Seth Green) are taken into the woods for a getaway, and are soon mutant tick fodder. You can blame Clint Howard and his super weed formula for the kerfuffle. Loads of fun, truly mucky in places (thanks to KNB) and I loved it.

8/10

Itsy Bitsy – 2019- Tubi

Giant bugs?

Huge, malevolent spider thingy.

CGI heavy?

A decent blend of CG and practical.

Any good?

I saved this one until last because it looked better than the usual stuff I wade through. Well directed by Micah Gallo (vfx guy for Frozen and Hatchet) and featuring a couple of my favorite players, Bruce Davison and Denise Crosby, this is a creepy little flick with (refreshingly) a couple of three-dimensional characters. The effects are solid, the acting is good (especially the lead, Elizabeth Roberts) and it’s worth a watch.

8/10

Previous Murkey Movie surveys from Neil Baker include:

I Like Big Bugs and I Cannot Lie, Part I
I Like Big Bugs and I Cannot Lie, Part II
The Weird, Weird West
Warrior Women Watch-a-thon

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Neil Baker’s last article for us was Part II of I Like Big Bugs and I Cannot Lie. Neil spends his days watching dodgy movies, most of them terrible, in the hope that you might be inspired to watch them too. He is often asked why he doesn’t watch ‘proper’ films, and he honestly doesn’t have a good answer. He is an author, illustrator, outdoor educator and owner of April Moon Books (AprilMoonBooks.com).