Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide to Homicide (Avid Reader Press, February 21, 2023)

First and foremost, this review is in no way a reference to our Black Gate big cheese John O. Speaking for BG Photog Chris Z and I, we can say unequivocally that we have never even thought of doing anything diabolical to John O. True that he forbid us to expense any more Hummer rentals or bottles of Fireball for our frequent road trips; forgetting of course, the former was for our safety and the latter for everyone else’s. Also true that he insists we fly Spirit Airlines and bring carry-on’s only to avoid baggage charges, resulting in Chris Z often going light on changes of socks in order to make room for his Ziplock bag of minibar bottles. But even with all this and more, we did not consider this delightful publication a potential “How To” manual.

With that information in mind, I can tell you that Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide to Homicide Volume 1 by Rupert Holmes is only the third book in my personal history which made me laugh out loud; with the first two being Good Omens (2006) by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (1979) by Douglas Adams.

The world of McMasters Academy

The closures of both my local Borders, and Barnes and Noble stores (insert moment of silence here) meant I no longer spend lazy Sunday afternoons perusing every new release, so I was a tad late to the party on MYE, which was released by Simon & Schuster in February 2023. I didn’t even pick it up after it appeared as number six on The New York Times bestseller list, or when it was number six in new releases on the international bestsellers list in Canada, or when it hit number 9 on Publishers Weekly bestsellers list and number seven on USA Today’s bestseller list, or even when Amazon named it to its Best Books of the 2023 list last November. MYE came to my attention as the recommendation of a dear friend whose mind is nearly if not quite as left-of-center as my own.

I took MYE with me on a weekend visit to friends where I had a total of five uninterrupted airborne hours available to me (not on Spirit as I was paying for it myself) during which I could dig in.

And dig in I did.

Oxbane Chapel on the McMasters campus

If the Harry Potter books had been written for adults, and Hogwarts was a school for those with homicidal leanings, it would begin to describe MYE. McMasters Conservatory for the Applied Arts is a secretive school in an undisclosed location where individuals learn how to commit “deletions” (murder is such an unpleasant word after all). Set in the 1950s and narrated by the dean of McMasters, Harbinger Harrow, the story follows the education of three students.

Cliff Iverson, an aircraft design engineer, is determined to murder his supervisor who had driven two of his co-workers to suicide and added critical design flaws to Iverson’s aircraft design to save on costs. Gemma Lindley is being blackmailed by her supervisor who suspects Gemma of killing her dying father to alleviate his suffering, and Dulcie Mown, a well-known Hollywood actress, is tormented by a predatory studio head. Each students’ target is more than worthy of their “deletion,” which is the first tenets of McMasters.

Slippery Elms Hall containing the offices of the professors and the Dean

The other tenets include,

2. Have you given your target every last chance to redeem themselves?
3. What innocent person might suffer by your actions?
4. Will this deletion improve the life of others?

The students’ responses to these four tenets make up the basis of their “thesis” along with the learnings from their many classes. After graduation students leave McMasters to finish their thesis (the murders).

I loved Homes’ writing style which has the clipped British humor that I find hysterical. His rich descriptions make it easy to envision the grounds of the McMasters Academy as well as the various idiosyncrasies of the students we meet throughout the story. And honestly, who among us cannot relate to Cliff, Gemma and Dulcie being pushed to the breaking point of wanting to “delete” someone?

If the name Rupert Holmes sounds familiar, it might be because in addition to being an author, he is also a singer/songwriter responsible for gems such as “Escape (The Piña Colada Song),” “Him,” and “Answering Machine.” Holmes has also written music for Gene Pitney, the Platters, the Drifters, Wayne Newton, Dolly Parton, Barry Manilow and Barbara Streisand.

I came across this wonderful interview with Holmes from CBS, about MYE, which is worth every moment of its six minutes runtime.

The great news is MYE is volume one of the magical world of McMasters Academy. Holmes estimates that the second volume, Murder Your Mate, will be available in late 2024