I have made no secret here of how I feel about Twilight; books, and movies. To be fair, I only made it through two of the books, understanding I was far from the target audience. Over the years since their release, I have managed to watch most of the movies piecemeal, taking them in ten-minute micro-bites, which is about all I could stand to stream in one sitting. Again, I realize I am not the target audience. But to lifelong devotees of vampires in literature, on screen, and in folklore, watching what Twilight did to our favorite monster was more than any fang-fan can be expected to endure.

I mean, would Bela Lugosi ever, EVER trade his cape for a flannel shirt? Or London for Washington state? Or (I can barely type this) sparkle…?

If you must imagine what vampires are doing in the 2000s, for crying out loud binge-watch What We Do in the Shadows.

Still, I have learned not to hold the atrocity of Twilight against Kristen Stewart. Having watched her acting as a full-fledged adult, I’ve come to admire her diversity. She also has an underlying darkness that would have served her well in her breakout role had she not been busy focusing on biting her lip and perfecting angsty looks at Edward Cullen.

She was young. I’ll leave it at that.

So fresh off my recent fan-girl obsession with Only Lovers Left Alive, and my admiration of Stewart’s acting chops, I didn’t sprain an eye muscle rolling them at this news. Variety and Deadline both came out with stories this week regarding Stewart’s next project alongside Oscar Isaac (Moon Knight, Dune).

Flesh of the Gods, which begins filming later this year, will be directed by Panos Cosmatos (Mandy, Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities) and penned by Se7en screenwriter Andrew Kevin Walker.

Details are a bit scarce, but both articles agree Stewart and Isaac will play Alex and Raoul, two married vampires living in Los Angeles in the 1980s who frequent the L.A. nightlife scene. One night, the bloodthirsty couple encounters “the mysterious and enigmatic Nameless” and get sucked (har-har) into a world of hedonism.

Cosmatos told The Hollywood Reporter that,

Like Los Angeles itself, Flesh of the Gods inhabits the liminal realm between fantasy and nightmare. Both propulsive and hypnotic, Flesh will take you on a hot rod joy ride deep into the glittering heart of hell.

Producer Adam McKay added in Variety,

This director, this writer, these incredible actors, vampires, choice ’80s punk, style and attitude for miles… that’s the film we’re bringing you today. We think it’s wildly commercial and wildly artful. Our ambitions are to make a movie that ripples through popular culture, fashion, music and film. Can you tell how excited I am?

Let’s assume at this very early stage that all of that is true, I could be excited as well. These adjectives would put Flesh of the Gods in the same type of setting as that quintessential 80’s film that made vampires oh so sexy, The Hunger.

Not holding out for that, but I’ll check my snark for the time being.

Early guesses put Flesh in theaters around Halloween 2025. Stay tuned.