I love Hallowe’en. Little gouls running alongside little bumblebees, all demanding spoils from their neighbors… it truly is a magical time. But, as in any great holiday, the trick is not to become too complacent. There are no tiny Conans or Red Sonjas, or at least no critical mass of them. They certainly couldn’t take down the army of Iron Men and princesses. LET US CHANGE THIS! Bring back some trick-or-treating sword and sorcery cheer to this candy-laced night by wearing a classic and notable costume!

The Bloody Villager
The bell rings. Your neighbor opens it, smile wide, bowl of candy clasped in hand, when suddenly they spot a bloodied, soiled dude dragging himself to their door, begging for a piece of food, any food, while raving about attacking marauders. You neighbors won’t expect it. They might give you something better than candy, like a sandwich! They might just call the cops. Thing is, you won’t know until you try.

Chainmail Bikini Kevlar Mash Up
Kevlar-mail Bikini. Need I even explain why this is so cool? (For those in the more northern regions: frozen skin shade would go lovely with blue-tinged bikini.)

Invading Force
This requires friends, but it’s completely worth it. Dress them all up like Spartans, red underpants and all, and start the mad screaming and weapon brandishing right away. Again, you’ll probably get arrested. But again: totally worth it

The Avenging Barbarian
Your army is destroyed. Your best friend died in your arms. You’re still covered in his blood (sticky corn syrup and red dye FTW!) When those doors open, make sure the neighbors understand just how grief stricken you are and how out for blood. Again: cops. Again: worth it.

Pile of Bodies
You can’t have a proper conquest without a resulting pile of bodies. Why not try trick or treating as one for Hallowe’en? It brings your bloodied and half-naked friends together, you can huddle for warmth, plus it doesn’t require any set-up, explanation, or screaming. And, when the cops do come this time, they can’t accuse you of being threatening. Having poor taste and judgment, sure, but certainly not being boring!

Flaming Village
This is like retro-pile-of-bodies. What happened before the pile. It’s a bit tricky to walk around while wearing a flaming costume, but not undoable. (I think.) Try it and let us know how it goes. Don’t forget to add tiny villager figures to throw out the windows as you walk! Their screams will surely entertain the children.