Goth Chick News: The Odds and Bleeding Ends
Ah summertime! With Memorial Day behind us we can finally relish the signs that warm weather is here to stay and the frigid months are at least temporarily a thing of the past. Though I am already counting down the less than five months until Halloween, even I am somewhat giddy in the abundant sunlight streaming in the office window, making it clear I haven’t dusted since the last full moon. Which reminds me…
Here at Black Gate headquarters the Goth Chick News department celebrates the summer solstice by welcoming a new batch of fresh meat, I mean interns, who wander through the halls on their first day wide-eyed with awe and anticipation. They are led past the door marked “basement,” blissfully unaware that this is where they will live out their next ten weeks of sunny days taunted and harassed for my enjoyment, until their Tuesday night algebra lectures will seem like recess. They’re led past the Black Gate cafeteria, where they’ll rarely be allowed to eat but will instead endlessly queue up for my chai tea lattes. Today they look young, fresh and optimistic, but by August it’s a whole different story.
I love the smell of Axe cologne on a summer morning. It smells like… victory.
However, as there is still some time before I can begin the joyful work of breaking in my new minions, I have a few tasty tidbits to share with you.