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It’s All Rather Hit-or-Mythos, Part II

It’s All Rather Hit-or-Mythos, Part II

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The Haunted Palace (American International Pictures, August 28, 1963)

Yes, a new watch-a-thon, featuring me, a hopeless procrastinator, plumbing the depths of cinematic misery for your entertainment.

This time around, I will be watching Lovecraftian and Lovecraftian-tangential films, and as usual they must be films I’ve never seen before (which makes the task trickier and bound for disaster).

If you don’t know anything about Lovecraft’s writings, cosmic horror, the Mythos, or Cthulhu, that’s great — keep it that way. Onwards!

The Haunted Palace (1963) – Tubi

We kick off Part II with a stone-cold classic from AIP that I somehow had never seen before. A shock, I know.

Billed as Edgar Allen Poe’s The Haunted Palace, this film is, in reality, a retelling of Lovecraft’s ‘The Case of Charles Dexter Ward,” with just a fraction of Poe’s original poem used to frame the film as opening and closing quotes.

Fans of the story will recognize many familiar elements; Vincent Price plays Charles Ward, who has brought his wife to Arkham to claim an old palace he has inherited from his long-gone descendant, Joseph Curwen. Curwen (who was burned alive 110 years ago) was an infamous warlock who terrorised the town until his fiery comeuppance. He cursed the lynch mob as he sizzled, and true to his word is resurrected through an old portrait that he uses to possess the hapless Ward. Ward/Cullen is aided by his two fellow warlocks, Jabez and Simon, and proceeds to take vengeance on the descendants of his killers. Shenanigans ensue.

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It’s All Rather Hit-or-Mythos, Part I

It’s All Rather Hit-or-Mythos, Part I

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H.P. Lovecraft’s The Old Ones (Laurelwood Pictures, 2024)

Yes, a new watch-a-thon, featuring me, a hopeless procrastinator, plumbing the depths of cinematic misery for your entertainment.

This time around, I will be watching Lovecraftian and Lovecraftian-tangential films, and as usual they must be films I’ve never seen before (which makes the task trickier and bound for disaster).

If you don’t know anything about Lovecraft’s writings, cosmic horror, the Mythos, or Cthulhu, that’s great — keep it that way. Onwards!

H.P. Lovecraft’s The Old Ones (2024) – Tubi

Three years ago, I watched H.P. Lovecraft’s The Deep Ones (and wasn’t overly impressed), and here is Chad Ferrin’s follow-up to his own film. Apparently he has three planned, so bear that in mind.

This one continues the story of Russel Marsh (Robert Miano — excellent as usual), a salty sea captain who was possessed over a hundred years ago by ‘unspeakable horrors’, and who is now out for revenge. His plan is to go back in time using a ‘resonator’ and stop the Esoteric Order of Dagon from doing ghastly, fishy things. An added bonus would be reuniting with his wife, who likes to appear to him in nudie dream sequences.

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Movie of the Week Madness: The Horror at 37,000 Feet

Movie of the Week Madness: The Horror at 37,000 Feet

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I’m sure you’ll agree that William Shatner is a man apart. Still going strong at ninety-four, he appears to maintain an admirable sense of humor about himself and the ups and downs of his long career, and he seems to have come to comfortable terms with Captain James Tiberius Kirk and Sergeant T.J. Hooker, and also with his appearances on Dr. Kildare, The Twilight Zone and scads of other television shows, which, considering the highly variable quality of the medium, was undoubtedly a wise decision.

Never having met the man, this is just a guess, but I think there might be an exception to his amiable acceptance of his service record; I suspect that there’s one of his television assignments, the mention of which might well provoke a lapse into sullen silence or prompt an eruption of foul-mouthed fury: the made-for-TV movie The Horror at 37,000 Feet.

I’ve often sung the praises of the iconic ABC Movie of the Week, but old-school network television being imitative if nothing else, CBS and NBC also bombarded a supine 1970’s public with their own original TV films. As with ABC, all the usual genres were on display, and the shows ranged from the socially serious to the unashamedly schlocky; the quality level veered as wildly as a drunk trying to walk a straight line on an episode of Adam-12, and most of these films were as disposable as what is euphemistically called “bathroom tissue.”

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You Can’t Handle the Tooth, Part III

You Can’t Handle the Tooth, Part III

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Boys from County Hell (Six Mile High Productions, April 2020)
and Twilight (Summit Entertainment, November 21, 2008)

20 vampire films, all first time watches for me.

Come on — sink ’em in.

Boys from County Hell (2020) – Prime/Shudder

Ah, British and British-adjacent horror comedies. When they’re done right, there’s nothing better, and this one is done right.

I had a blast with this one, I’d put it right up there with the likes of Dog Soldiers, Grabbers, Shaun of the Dead, Doghouse, Severance, and The Cottage. They all have something in common; a close-knit group, localized setting, extreme gore, and flowery language.

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You Can’t Handle the Tooth, Part II

You Can’t Handle the Tooth, Part II

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Tsui Hark’s Vampire Hunters (Film Workshop, 2002)

20 vampire films, all first time watches for me.

Come on — sink ’em in.

Tsui Hark’s Vampire Hunters (AKA The Era of Vampires) (2002) – Prime

The original title is Era of Vampires, but for the North American release we end up with a spectacular bit of bait and switch trickery. Anyone who knows Tsui Hark’s work would be excited, after all, he gave us Zu Warriors from the Magic Mountain and the Once Upon a Time in China series — but we have been fooled. He produced this film, and wrote the story, but the director is Wellson Chin, better known for romantic comedies. For those of you who don’t know what this means, imagine going to see Steven Spielberg’s Jaws: The Legend Returns, and it’s directed by McG.

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A Hand-Crafted World: Karel Zeman’s Invention for Destruction

A Hand-Crafted World: Karel Zeman’s Invention for Destruction

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Is there anything more dispiriting than the ceaseless quest for novelty, especially when it seems bound to end in disappointment? It’s something I feel just about every time I turn on the TV. We’ve never had so many viewing choices, but so often everything feels reheated, recycled; we’ve seen it all before. The genuinely different is so rare that when you do see it, you know it — and you never forget it.

Sometime in the 70’s I saw an old black-and-white movie on television; it was called The Fabulous World of Jules Verne and it was the most extraordinary-looking thing I had ever seen. Guess what? I never forgot it.

A few years later I saw a movie on the late-night tube about the world’s greatest liar, Baron Munchausen. This time I couldn’t say that I had never seen anything like it because there was one thing that it reminded me of — The Fabulous World of Jules Verne. It was only years later that I learned that both films were the work of the Czechoslovakian director, Karel Zeman.

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You Can’t Handle the Tooth, Part I

You Can’t Handle the Tooth, Part I

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Scream, Blacula, Scream (American International Pictures, June 27, 1973)

20 vampire films, all first time watches for me.

Come on — sink ’em in.

Scream, Blacula, Scream (1973) – Tubi

I’ve seen Blacula (1970) plenty of times, but somehow never got around to watching the sequel, and thank the stars I did, because it’s excellent. I think I like it even more than the original.

If you are new to this nonsense, the original film told the tale of an African prince who is bitten by Dracula and becomes a bloodsucking fiend on the streets of L.A., tapping all jive turkeys he comes across. It’s obviously a product of the Blaxploitation era, but its dodgy premise is saved by the presence of William Marshall. For my money, Marshall can stand toe-to-toe with Christopher Lee as one of my favorite depictions of the count (so to speak). Like Lee, he brings much gravitas, animalistic savagery, and raw sex appeal to the role, along with one of the best voices in the business.

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Nosferatu: Was It the Time Change What Killed The Beast?

Nosferatu: Was It the Time Change What Killed The Beast?

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Nosferatu, written and directed by Robert Eggers, based on Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror (1922), written by Henrik Galeen, and Dracula, penned by Bram Stoker in 1897.

Reboots and Adaptations

Okay. So I finally got around to watching Eggers’ version of FW Murnau’s classic from 1922, Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror. By now, I think everyone knows the story behind FW Murnau’s Nosferatu, but here’s a brief summary: Murnau’s Nosferatu was an unauthorized adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, changing character names and locations but retaining the core plot elements. The film, which originally claimed to be adapted from Stoker’s novel, was made to avoid copyright issues and was eventually subject to legal action that nearly destroyed all prints.

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Four Things I Think I Think: May 2025

Four Things I Think I Think: May 2025

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Time to share a few things I Think I Think.

I mean, what’ the point of having your own blog column if you can’t share your opinion on whatever you want to? Right???

1 – The Black Company Remains One of My Favorite Series’

I’ve written multiple times that audiobooks fit my lifestyle these years. I still enjoy reading a print book, and the digital format has made a LOT of long out-of-print Pulp, available. But I listen to audiobooks while I work, write, game, drive, and even fall asleep. I get to stuff I’d not, otherwise.

Last year I listened to the entire Black Company series (minus Port of Shadows). I have read the entire thing at least three times through, and this was my first listen. Last month, as I was doing a couple of long runs, I decided I wanted to listen to The Black Company (book one). during them. And here I am a month later, on Water Sleeps, the second-to-last book (I only have Port of Shadows in hardback, so excluding that from the discussion at present).

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Tubi Dive, Part VII

Tubi Dive, Part VII

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Hellbenders (Lionsgate, October 18, 2013)

50 films that I dug up on Tubi.

Enjoy!

Hellbenders (2012)

I really should have saved this for later, for my exorcism watch-a-thon What Possessed You, but the mere thought of not watching a Clancy Brown movie kicked off my hives.

Hellbenders is an unholy romp written and directed by J.T. Petty (who brought us The Burrowers, among others) based on the graphic novel of the same name.

It concerns a secret order of multi denominational priests who are trained to defeat unbeatable demons. They do this by sinning as much as possible, then inviting the demon to possess themselves before committing suicide and dragging the entity to Hell. It’s a fantastic premise, and the numerous references to their sins (ranging from stealing newspapers and having disparaging thoughts, to committing adultery and colourful blasphemy) is a lot of fun. Priests aren’t sent out on exorcism missions if they’re not guaranteed to go to Hell.

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